John (the shooter)
speaker
921 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Jul 2026
last heard 5 Jul
John (the shooter)’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.
Appearances
But to be honest, after like a year or so, I came off of it because some of the side effects from some medications, I was barely like, you know, sleepy, like not... I tell people like brain fog is not something you want to have in prison sometimes.
You want to be as aware of your surroundings as possible.
And but yeah, it was mostly through just like that...
Talk therapy, not even with a therapist in prison, because there's not always the great, you know, therapist.
There's not therapists available sometimes, but just opening up and connecting with friends and family and even other prisoners is one of the things that
really helped me turn my life around opening up realizing that no there is not something inherently wrong with me you know what i did or what i experienced as a child when i was sexually abused as a child just a simple realization that i did not do something you know gross and disgusting as a six-year-old i had something gross and disgusting done to me just that simple realization it really just kind of helped me
you know see things differently and yeah i had to then work through this horrific shooting that i i've now imposed all types of trauma on countless people and i'll still to this day i'll never truly understand everything that people went through because of me but you know the more that i opened up the better i felt and i was able to connect with with so many people and realize that okay
As one therapist would eventually tell me.
Shame and guilt are good when they break you down and you're able to rebuild yourself better.
But when you keep yourself down, when you keep just like that self-hatred that I still deal with, when you still just say like, no, I'm a piece of shit, I hate myself, you know, I'm never going to amount to anything.
When we're stuck in that mood, we're not helpful to ourselves or others.
And it's just about how can I snap myself out of it?
How can I realize that?
Yes, you know, even me, I've done something truly horrific.
But you know what?
I can turn my life around and I can amount to something.
And that's why, like, that's why I do what I do today and talking with others about what led me down this dark path, because, you know, it's also therapeutic for me to be able to share with others and to be able to prevent other shootings from happening is then what I realized.
Like, that's my mission.
That's my goal.
That's why I feel like I'm still alive.
Showing 681–700 of 921 · page 35 of 47
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