John Ballen
speaker
344 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Dec 2024
last heard Dec 2024
John Ballen’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
My dad is an incredible speaker. He's done some pretty big talks, and I've seen him speak, and he's so good. And I've always known that I'm a good speaker. I can tell stories. This is something well before Mr. Ballin. But I viewed it as something that was so terrifying that I would never actually do it. I was the guy that had that thought and was like, I'll live with an unchecked box.
And I would tell myself it's because I don't really have the content to deliver a talk. I have the ability, but no content. And that was my excuse. But then the Mr. Ballin thing sort of takes off. And suddenly, it's like, oh, you have the audience. You have the content. You have all this stuff.
it is now a decision are you going to do it or not and i over the last couple years have like really mentally tortured myself to work myself up to be like i'm not only going to do the live stuff but i'm going to do a whole tour like it's and i told you before for the show that i wanted limited production value a part of that was because i wanted it to be me with a spotlight on me with a microphone to make it as as intense as it could possibly be because i felt like if i didn't start there
I'd be worried I didn't fulfill the thing I've always wanted to do, which is like be the guy with the mic and captivate people. And so I did that. I feel like I genuinely accomplished this thing that I really didn't think I would ever actually do because fear was too much. I wasn't able to get past it.
But as a result, coming back from that tour, and this is going to sound so, like, egotistical, but it's like we come back from tour and we have the graphic novel we released, New York Times bestselling graphic novel. Like, it's beautiful. I'm so proud of that book. You know, the tour was, like, statistically, financially, whatever you want to call it, huge success.
You know, the YouTube channel, the podcast, everything's going great. but I suddenly had no more genuinely deep-seated unchecked boxes, I don't. The only thing I have is like, A real desire to be a good dad. There's not a specific way to quantify that.
But by doing the live thing, which was so in the back of my mind, now that it's been checked, I could do 50 more live tours and it would never be the same as the first one. Like I could right now, there's 70,000 people out there. Go tell a story impromptu. I could do that right now. It wouldn't be stressful as hell, but I'd do it.
I don't have, and this is again, not meant to be egotistical, I don't have a goal anymore. I have now reached a point where the only other thing that I wanted to do was pitch for the Boston Red Sox. And I think that ship has sailed. That'd be the one thing I'm not able to do. But I don't really have like the big audacious goal. I'm sure I'll find one. I'm looking for one.
But I've sort of reached a point where like I adore the storytelling aspect of storytelling. I just do. I'm doing it right now. But I also adore my family and my kids. And I want to have a full life there. And by the way, I definitely have a good balance right now. But to your point, can I do this for 30 more years? The answer is no.
I could do this for a time and I'll put all of my energy into it. And when people hear my fans, when I say like, I genuinely care about what you think, I'm in the comments, I read Reddit, I read painful things on Reddit, I read all this stuff. It's because I genuinely care because this was never about building a business. That's a product of the thing that I love to do.
It's a product of telling stories and loving to do that. But yeah, I don't have the deep unchecked box. I hope to find one. But right now it's like I feel like I'm just sort of doing stuff and I need to find the thing and I don't have it. I'm so fortunate, so blessed. I love my life. I love that. But I've done the box checking and I don't know what's next.
I feel like you do. It keeps you moving, keeps you like thinking about that. It's like purpose and meaning, isn't it?
there was that horrible disaster with the little submarine that imploded. Horrible thing. And I was reading about it and like the people that that go on these deep sea excursions are typically like billionaires. It's people that literally have every resource known to man. You can do basically anything you want within reason.
And it's like they can't figure out what to do now because everything – like to us, if it's like, hey, do you want to go buy a $100 million yacht today? Like we can't do that. Like I can't go buy – maybe you can. I can buy a $100 million yacht. But it's like imagine being – it's very difficult to do this. I'm sure billionaires could tell us.
If you could buy anything, it's like suddenly everything loses its value, at least the things you can buy. It's only valuable to us because we can't have it. It's like I can get this nice of a car, but I know I can't get a McLaren. But that's what makes this one special because I can't afford this one.
But it's like the billionaires, it's like, oh, well, all I can do is like adrenaline now because it's money doesn't put up. So it's, I've sort of reached a point, not billionaire status even close, but it's like, It's hard to figure out what I even want to do besides knowing wife and kids is like a really big thing for me.
It stems literally from nearly dying in Afghanistan, like really cherishing the fact that I have a family. But it's like I also cherish what I have here with Ballin Studios. I just I'm waiting for the next big sort of unchecked box to to appear.
Yeah, I've really struggled with my mental health. In particular, kind of like from military service was a big part of it.
when i was medically retired so 2014 i get hurt in afghanistan i really didn't i thought i dealt with it because you have to go see a therapist and stuff post deployments you go you go speak to somebody but i sort of was just sort of playing the game to get through it because i just wanted to deploy again and be a part of the team again um it wasn't until later on that i actually saw i deployed a second time and i went to south america
Um, and I remember not giving much thought to the deployment before I got there. I remember thinking like, compared to going to Afghanistan, we're going to South America to like sit in a, in like a nice house, literally in a beautiful part of South America and like train Peruvian military forces. Like it's not a combat deployment.
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