John Delcollo
Appearances
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
We do have a special guest coming, which is exciting.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
I've only had them. I'm not trying to come at you. No, no, no. I get it. Pause. I've only had them salted, but that's when they're tasty.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah, they really did leave some welts on me. They really hurt you. Have you been to Show and Tell? I've actually never been there. Dude, they do.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Remember one time you and I drove by the Pennsport pub in Philly? Oh, yeah. They showed their butthole in there.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah, that's what you told me. I had heard. It was a sound point.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Of course.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah, it was an accident.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
It's that and then liquor stores closed on Sunday. Those are the two Quaker laws that still exist.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Right. It's a chore.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah. I think whatever I'm doing with my life is probably canceling out any time I eat a Brazil nut.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah, exactly. And everyone has to wear, like, the electrician little, like, boots over their feet. Oh, the little, like, home booties? Yeah, because they serve food. True. It's a grocery store.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
That's a very tantalizing possibility.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Oh, wait, this is where the guy...
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
She was filming it. Yeah, he pulled up in a Hellcat, too.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
They put up a statue of a guy in a Dodge Trunk.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
It's a service job.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
I mean, that's a motherfucker move to shut that shit down.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
That's incredible anyway. Shut it down.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Just also everything around you say the guy's name What kids party we read my one cousin's daughter, all right?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah, but you still look me if you do that's okay fair enough, but like I'd rather have my life There's like something too debilitating about the neck brace. Exactly. It's like Frankenstein. Yeah, it just makes you so Like cumbersome.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Or you could stand on the chair. We could do like a, I don't mean to bring this up again, but we could do like a Usher style thing. Bowl of cherries? I was just thinking serenade, but if you have cherries on hand, sure.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Damn, you could probably fucking chew a hole through the wall.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Dude, you were living out like a romance novel. It's kind of sick. Yeah. Honestly, I feel like if I watched one of my wife's-
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
That'd be actually, if you could stand it, you'd become like the no jumper of just insane young porn stars.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Or maybe.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
No way. He's rebuilding his business, right?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Oh, really?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Machine Gun Kelly, maybe. I mean, Machine Gun Kelly is pop now, but he's probably a little ticked off.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
What about Linkin Park?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
What's your problem? Oh, I didn't know what he did.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
You're allowed to say this if you're not standing at the podium.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yes. Okay, wait. I took an Uber here. As soon as I got in, the guy was like, the weather's been crazy here. A couple people died yesterday. I was like, oh. But yeah, apparently. The weather wasn't even crazy yesterday. Well, it was hot. You can heat stroke. He was kind of on one. He was, I mean, maybe he was just in like twilight zone. You mean like an immigrant?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Become a fucking electrician, dude. How does it make it to the site? Pass the mods?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Are you going to be using a toy at any point? I don't think this can get done.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Did you say chow monster? Chow monster. Yeah, chow time. Oh, yeah. Maybe become like a star for like the ladies.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Get an SNL, dude.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Love your new song. Love your message.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
That'd be nice to just develop over years, just develop a relationship with this guy. And then eventually, like a cult sort of thing, you know, and then just eventually be like, can I show you my penis?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah, yeah, okay.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Because they did it in hotels, right? Like the freak-offs? Mansions. Oh, they did it. Okay, so it was just in homes. Was it his own personal house? That's what I was trying to figure out. Okay, so there were a couple venues. You could, like, ghost hunt with one of those machines. A black light.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah, put me in the red. Because I was about to go off.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
I don't know.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
No, it's not Subgirl. It's like a different lady who... The content. Yeah, shout out Subgirl. I didn't know she was still rocking. That's what's up. Wait, hold on. Actually, now that we... Who is Subgirl? Yeah, who's Subgirl? Lemaire, can you... Lemaire, can you approach the bench?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
That's the one thing, man.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
I guess she kind of... I forgot about her. She's like the originator of all this stuff. A little bit.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
I think she kind of started... Take the podium. Dude, I have plenty of room. It's a two-man podium. Two-man podium.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
But yeah, she kind of... Oh, shit. Yeah, she kind of led the charge, and then now there's two ladies who are losing their assholes. Wait, anal prolapse?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
I think she's like, she's like, I am a giant disgusting whore. Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah. She's like, no, I, yeah, you're right. Like if you caught it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
I feel like that's... It's like a reward for being locked up during COVID.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
That'd be fucking sick. Yeah, I think I'm going to eat your pussy. You must be mad. I love that video. Mad ting.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
This is like a nice, like, pause. This is like a nice set you got on, like a gray. Yeah, I'm grayed out today. It's like a nice summer. I got the buttons going. Yeah, it's good. I... Thank you, bro. Sorry, I got distracted. Something about The Rock. Oh, yeah, dude. His shoe is from Under Armour. Shane, hook me up. Under Armour. All the YNs. I want to be a YN dressed like a YN.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
They all wear Under Armour tracksuits. It's cool. A young nuisance. In Philly, there's a particular uniform, and it looks comfortable. It's like Under Armour.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Come on. I was gooned out.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
I had that migraine earlier. I should have paid attention to it, I guess.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
I don't know. I don't know my blood type. What's the guy's name and her?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Big guy 4x4.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
How much of them do you love? Like 641? What the fuck? It's pretty bad.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Whoa, really? Yeah, people are like... There's people who are tremendously insecure who ask chat GPT shit for advice. It's like, dude, just call me, I guess. I'll talk to you.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
diluted sense of everything at once both things you're thinking about all right that would be nice on if you're just a commenter just be like yo explain why this guy is the gayest guy ever yeah huge paragraph yeah and then can you write like a manifesto for me and like put his name on it they're definitely gonna have a manifesto at some point
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Aren't the new Hummers electric? Are they really? My Uber driver earlier was geeked on them. He was like, can't blame him. Yeah. One drove by us. And then like a couple minutes later, he's like, did you see that car? I was like, no. He was like, it was the Hummer. It was the new Hummer. He was very excited. Electric Hummer would be sick.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Electric Hummer would be sick, but I wonder if the EMFs, if there's like some device.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah. Wear one of those lead things from the dance. That's what I'm saying. Wear an x-ray shield. On your crotch though.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Maybe it comes with it. It's like bulletproof.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
It was like a clip on Instagram of these two guys. Is it Luke Belmar's brother?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah. And then he just goes into like Denny's and fucking suns the waiter. He's like, I actually can't do anything here because it's all cooked in seed oil. We're all good here, bro.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
There's something like that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Literally a liver queen. That's what they call her. ISIS bride. Just stay down. That's really awesome.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
You don't need the article. Yeah, it's too much. That's actually, that's kind of like Bill Maher-ish. What? To be like, I don't need the article. I can get my point across without it. Yeah, exactly. I never lose frame.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah, you're not supposed to laugh at anything anyone ever texts you.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah, people get upset about it. I have periods. People like read into it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Commas are crazy. Why? Sometimes I use a semicolon like a person.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah, buying corn nuts.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
It feels good, though, to almost be ready to buy that stuff. I might do that. I'll have to use it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Would you like to take the standing? Last time I was here, my leg was broken.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
You guys have the cherries ready? Do you ever see Usher's bowl of cherries?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Nice. About that, yeah. Shit, I know a robin's egg. Yeah, robin's egg or like a Jordan almond. Yeah. For the people who are a little bit more refined. A Brazil nut. Yeah, ooh, you nasty. Yeah. You freak.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
No, you could steal, but then they could destroy you.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah, so you don't want that hanging over your head I don't wanna get destroyed.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Because it does feel recharged if you don't mind my asking recharged when you were leaving Like when you were at when this was going on like how you're charged up right now. Oh, I thrive on the chaos brother. I
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
No, I'm just thinking like leaving Home Depot to like come back.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
to get some of the masculine.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Use the tape measure and be like, yeah, I can tell you're about two inches in the pants.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah. Hashtag.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Freaky.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
You guys still sell hot dogs?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Brazil nuts are freaky as hell. Brazil nuts. They're so good.