John Delcollo

We do have a special guest coming, which is exciting.

I've only had them. I'm not trying to come at you. No, no, no. I get it. Pause. I've only had them salted, but that's when they're tasty.

Yeah, they really did leave some welts on me. They really hurt you. Have you been to Show and Tell? I've actually never been there. Dude, they do.

Remember one time you and I drove by the Pennsport pub in Philly? Oh, yeah. They showed their butthole in there.

Yeah, that's what you told me. I had heard. It was a sound point.

Of course.

Yeah, it was an accident.

It's that and then liquor stores closed on Sunday. Those are the two Quaker laws that still exist.

Right. It's a chore.

Yeah. I think whatever I'm doing with my life is probably canceling out any time I eat a Brazil nut.

Yeah, exactly. And everyone has to wear, like, the electrician little, like, boots over their feet. Oh, the little, like, home booties? Yeah, because they serve food. True. It's a grocery store.

That's a very tantalizing possibility.

Oh, wait, this is where the guy...

She was filming it. Yeah, he pulled up in a Hellcat, too.

They put up a statue of a guy in a Dodge Trunk.

It's a service job.

I mean, that's a motherfucker move to shut that shit down.

That's incredible anyway. Shut it down.

Just also everything around you say the guy's name What kids party we read my one cousin's daughter, all right?

Yeah, but you still look me if you do that's okay fair enough, but like I'd rather have my life There's like something too debilitating about the neck brace. Exactly. It's like Frankenstein. Yeah, it just makes you so Like cumbersome.

Or you could stand on the chair. We could do like a, I don't mean to bring this up again, but we could do like a Usher style thing. Bowl of cherries? I was just thinking serenade, but if you have cherries on hand, sure.

Damn, you could probably fucking chew a hole through the wall.

Dude, you were living out like a romance novel. It's kind of sick. Yeah. Honestly, I feel like if I watched one of my wife's-

That'd be actually, if you could stand it, you'd become like the no jumper of just insane young porn stars.

Or maybe.

No way. He's rebuilding his business, right?

Oh, really?

Machine Gun Kelly, maybe. I mean, Machine Gun Kelly is pop now, but he's probably a little ticked off.

What about Linkin Park?

What's your problem? Oh, I didn't know what he did.

You're allowed to say this if you're not standing at the podium.

Yes. Okay, wait. I took an Uber here. As soon as I got in, the guy was like, the weather's been crazy here. A couple people died yesterday. I was like, oh. But yeah, apparently. The weather wasn't even crazy yesterday. Well, it was hot. You can heat stroke. He was kind of on one. He was, I mean, maybe he was just in like twilight zone. You mean like an immigrant?

Become a fucking electrician, dude. How does it make it to the site? Pass the mods?

Are you going to be using a toy at any point? I don't think this can get done.

Did you say chow monster? Chow monster. Yeah, chow time. Oh, yeah. Maybe become like a star for like the ladies.

Get an SNL, dude.

Love your new song. Love your message.

That'd be nice to just develop over years, just develop a relationship with this guy. And then eventually, like a cult sort of thing, you know, and then just eventually be like, can I show you my penis?

Yeah, yeah, okay.

Because they did it in hotels, right? Like the freak-offs? Mansions. Oh, they did it. Okay, so it was just in homes. Was it his own personal house? That's what I was trying to figure out. Okay, so there were a couple venues. You could, like, ghost hunt with one of those machines. A black light.

Yeah, put me in the red. Because I was about to go off.

I don't know.

No, it's not Subgirl. It's like a different lady who... The content. Yeah, shout out Subgirl. I didn't know she was still rocking. That's what's up. Wait, hold on. Actually, now that we... Who is Subgirl? Yeah, who's Subgirl? Lemaire, can you... Lemaire, can you approach the bench?

That's the one thing, man.

I guess she kind of... I forgot about her. She's like the originator of all this stuff. A little bit.

I think she kind of started... Take the podium. Dude, I have plenty of room. It's a two-man podium. Two-man podium.

But yeah, she kind of... Oh, shit. Yeah, she kind of led the charge, and then now there's two ladies who are losing their assholes. Wait, anal prolapse?

I think she's like, she's like, I am a giant disgusting whore. Yeah.

Yeah. She's like, no, I, yeah, you're right. Like if you caught it.

I feel like that's... It's like a reward for being locked up during COVID.

That'd be fucking sick. Yeah, I think I'm going to eat your pussy. You must be mad. I love that video. Mad ting.

This is like a nice, like, pause. This is like a nice set you got on, like a gray. Yeah, I'm grayed out today. It's like a nice summer. I got the buttons going. Yeah, it's good. I... Thank you, bro. Sorry, I got distracted. Something about The Rock. Oh, yeah, dude. His shoe is from Under Armour. Shane, hook me up. Under Armour. All the YNs. I want to be a YN dressed like a YN.

They all wear Under Armour tracksuits. It's cool. A young nuisance. In Philly, there's a particular uniform, and it looks comfortable. It's like Under Armour.

Come on. I was gooned out.

I had that migraine earlier. I should have paid attention to it, I guess.

I don't know. I don't know my blood type. What's the guy's name and her?

Big guy 4x4.

How much of them do you love? Like 641? What the fuck? It's pretty bad.

Whoa, really? Yeah, people are like... There's people who are tremendously insecure who ask chat GPT shit for advice. It's like, dude, just call me, I guess. I'll talk to you.

diluted sense of everything at once both things you're thinking about all right that would be nice on if you're just a commenter just be like yo explain why this guy is the gayest guy ever yeah huge paragraph yeah and then can you write like a manifesto for me and like put his name on it they're definitely gonna have a manifesto at some point

Aren't the new Hummers electric? Are they really? My Uber driver earlier was geeked on them. He was like, can't blame him. Yeah. One drove by us. And then like a couple minutes later, he's like, did you see that car? I was like, no. He was like, it was the Hummer. It was the new Hummer. He was very excited. Electric Hummer would be sick.

Electric Hummer would be sick, but I wonder if the EMFs, if there's like some device.

Yeah. Wear one of those lead things from the dance. That's what I'm saying. Wear an x-ray shield. On your crotch though.

Maybe it comes with it. It's like bulletproof.

It was like a clip on Instagram of these two guys. Is it Luke Belmar's brother?

Yeah.

Yeah. And then he just goes into like Denny's and fucking suns the waiter. He's like, I actually can't do anything here because it's all cooked in seed oil. We're all good here, bro.

There's something like that.

Literally a liver queen. That's what they call her. ISIS bride. Just stay down. That's really awesome.

You don't need the article. Yeah, it's too much. That's actually, that's kind of like Bill Maher-ish. What? To be like, I don't need the article. I can get my point across without it. Yeah, exactly. I never lose frame.

Yeah, you're not supposed to laugh at anything anyone ever texts you.

Yeah.

Yeah, people get upset about it. I have periods. People like read into it.

Commas are crazy. Why? Sometimes I use a semicolon like a person.

Yeah, buying corn nuts.

It feels good, though, to almost be ready to buy that stuff. I might do that. I'll have to use it.

Would you like to take the standing? Last time I was here, my leg was broken.

You guys have the cherries ready? Do you ever see Usher's bowl of cherries?

Yeah.

Nice. About that, yeah. Shit, I know a robin's egg. Yeah, robin's egg or like a Jordan almond. Yeah. For the people who are a little bit more refined. A Brazil nut. Yeah, ooh, you nasty. Yeah. You freak.

No, you could steal, but then they could destroy you.

Yeah, so you don't want that hanging over your head I don't wanna get destroyed.

Because it does feel recharged if you don't mind my asking recharged when you were leaving Like when you were at when this was going on like how you're charged up right now. Oh, I thrive on the chaos brother. I

No, I'm just thinking like leaving Home Depot to like come back.

to get some of the masculine.

Use the tape measure and be like, yeah, I can tell you're about two inches in the pants.

Yeah. Hashtag.

Freaky.

You guys still sell hot dogs?

Brazil nuts are freaky as hell. Brazil nuts. They're so good.