Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Wed, 04 Jun 2025
Tires Season 2 is out TOMORROW on Netflix!!!! Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Jon @ https://www.patreon.com/lilstinkers Support Billy and Spud @ https://www.patreon.com/WARMODE Listen to Bliz's Worship Hour100k on KPISS @ https://kpiss.fm/show/worship-hour-100k/ Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Good afternoon everybody. Hope you're all having a good week so far. Here's your weekly cast. The Big Kahuna is pretty busy this week with the premiere of Tires Szn 2 so the broz held it down at the podiums. Check out Tires Szn2 on Netflix tomorrow!!! Please enjoy. God Bless. This video is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/MSSP Download the PrizePicks app or visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DRENCHED today and use code Drenched to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the main topic of this episode?
Wow, wow, Wes.
Holy shit, dude. We're here. Charles Bliznick, John DelGallo. Hello. Thank you guys for joining me on this program. Thank you for having me. We have a special guest popping in as well.
We do have a special guest coming, which is exciting.
He's going to sit right there, I think. Sit right there. He might stop for you. We're going to stand around him.
Yeah.
Or you could stand on the chair. We could do like a, I don't mean to bring this up again, but we could do like a Usher style thing. Bowl of cherries? I was just thinking serenade, but if you have cherries on hand, sure.
What do you think about Usher's bowl of cherries? Could you resist it, you think? Everyone talks big game. I don't think anyone can. Imagine him holding what looked like child's testicles in front of your face. Imagine you're a 40-year-old black lady. Could you not lick the simulated child's testicles if it was your biggest crush?
There's male testicles. There's grown-up testicles that look like that too, buddy.
like steroid heads dude no there's dude cherry guys out there i'm by no way a sack king and i'm not i'm not the cherries i can comfortably be like that's not a flex to be like cherries but it's like nice did you ever see the video the bodybuilder i'm checking my nuts right now Yeah, dude. I can't check too hard. Mine are like robin's eggs. You know, like the candy?
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Chapter 2: What happened during the recent microburst?
Chapter 3: What is 'goonicide' and how did it happen?
Not that bad. No, dude, when I went there, it was, these women were, like, pure scale.
You're an Austinian, dude. Huh? Elite. It's not that bad.
no dude when i was there they were for real skeletor they waved they were i don't want to be crass on this but they were like inserting vaginal insertion yeah and they waved it out in the crowd they were so bad dudes went
Well, whoever's going to do the live sex show probably is pretty rough, but not every one of them. Not every one, but the live sex ladies. I'm an ally, so. True.
Obviously. I mean, that's your business. I don't. I think it comes from the deepest bits of hell.
Remember one time you and I drove by the Pennsport pub in Philly? Oh, yeah. They showed their butthole in there.
They do. I was whispering out of the lane, by the way.
Yeah, that's what you told me. I had heard. It was a sound point.
Look, again, I was curious. Obviously, it was on my mind. We passed.
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Chapter 4: How does the crew feel about their recent experiences?
Chapter 5: What are the implications of the latest Netflix season?
Wow, wow, Wes.
Holy shit, dude. We're here. Charles Bliznick, John DelGallo. Hello. Thank you guys for joining me on this program. Thank you for having me. We have a special guest popping in as well.
We do have a special guest coming, which is exciting.
He's going to sit right there, I think. Sit right there. He might stop for you. We're going to stand around him.
Yeah.
Or you could stand on the chair. We could do like a, I don't mean to bring this up again, but we could do like a Usher style thing. Bowl of cherries? I was just thinking serenade, but if you have cherries on hand, sure.
What do you think about Usher's bowl of cherries? Could you resist it, you think? Everyone talks big game. I don't think anyone can. Imagine him holding what looked like child's testicles in front of your face. Imagine you're a 40-year-old black lady. Could you not lick the simulated child's testicles if it was your biggest crush?
There's male testicles. There's grown-up testicles that look like that too, buddy.
like steroid heads dude no there's dude cherry guys out there i'm by no way a sack king and i'm not i'm not the cherries i can comfortably be like that's not a flex to be like cherries but it's like nice did you ever see the video the bodybuilder i'm checking my nuts right now Yeah, dude. I can't check too hard. Mine are like robin's eggs. You know, like the candy?
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Chapter 6: How do the hosts handle personal challenges?
That's a very tantalizing possibility.
There's a coffee shop there. If you want to stand, I don't mind.
Oh, wait, this is where the guy...
Where is it? In Florida? Yeah. It had my dad fucked up, bro.
That's called goonicide. It's not suicide. Goonicide. The guy who went through the barista's drive-thru with his pants down.
Yeah, dude.
You care about that? The first recorded case of goonicide? No, it's for real. He went through his pants down and the chick was like, what are you doing? He was like, I'm sorry, and then drove off and killed himself.
She was filming it. Yeah, he pulled up in a Hellcat, too.
It's supposed to be a coffee shop that has scantily clad women, but you can see in the reflection of the guy's car, the woman is fully clothed. He's trying to beat his dick to a lady in a full-on jeans and a t-shirt, and then she catches him on video and he drives to another parking lot and blows his head off.
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