John Mulaney

Throw that on the site.

I should find out how the ratings were because Donald Trump promised me it was going to be their highest rated show.

Who's there?

What do you mean there?

It was me, Donald Trump, and Gloria Estevan.

And Donald pulled me aside and gave me... You know those guys are just wildly confident, super cocky, and they just do that stuff even when you don't give a shit.

And they go, Adam, this is going to be the highest rated marriage right for you.

You'll see.

You'll see.

You'll see.

And you just wonder, like...

Do you just keep talking until you believe it?

Or, like, how does it work?

Oh, great.

I think it's one yet one more category where we as human beings, we're searching for control.

So all we want is some control, whether it's a universal remote or Jesus Christ or fate or crystals or psychics.

It's like we want control.

And this idea of you've got to get your kid to listen to Mozart in the womb and drink filtered water, not tap water.

And everything is sort of eat organic Cheetos and shit like that.

Don't let them do this.