John Mulaney

I don't know why, but when they go, the armed guy came up, shot the couple in the back of the head, and took off on a 10-speed, I actually feel more sorry for the guy on the 10-speed than the couple that was gunned down on their evening walk.

There's something weird and there's something insanely desperate about crime with a getaway bicycle guy.

He's one of the best barsmen in the business.

I need a pagan bars man for this.

Yeah, so that is... I'm guessing he's not sober.

That's what I'm guessing.

He is not only...

a really sweet, nice guy, but he's also very... He's a very talented guy, too.

He really is a very strong performer who, when he's on the top of his game, can compete with anybody and totally could work.

And it's just sad.

And it's also sad that, you know, we're basically...

Watching somebody kill themselves in slow motion, and it becomes sort of a joke in a sense, and it shouldn't be, because if this was leukemia, we would treat it differently.

Instead, this is probably going to kill him faster, whatever he's doing, whatever he's up to, whatever he's into, and it's just...

It's just sad that that guy can't, you know, stay sober.

And, again, I'm assuming that things that involve necklaces and bicycles when you're in your later 40s, early 50s usually involve drugs as well.

No, I applaud the can I see that move to get the necklace.

And that's where my see with your eyes and not with your hands comes in.

I think I've just added another to my list of wanting to know if you're on the have or have not side of life or the good side of the train tracks growing up.

Junior high, I've said Levi's or Tufkin's.

Schwinn or Huffy bicycles, and now the ratio of you saying, can I see that versus see with your eyes, not with your hands.