John Mulaney
๐ค SpeakerAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
How many times you say not so fast to somebody versus the times it's said to you?
I never said to anybody, not so fast, hot shot, because I didn't have anything.
Yeah, those reinforced knees?
Not so fast, hot shot.
All right.
He'll be missed.
Right.
And that's not in a vault.
It's out in the world, the Doritos flavor.
You don't need to go among your old, you know, microfiche.
The nectar of the tards, as I call Mountain Dew.
And I always say there needs to be a sterilization agent put into Mountain Dew and Sunny D. Right.
A sip of it's not going to render you sterile, but if you drink more than four liters of Mountain Dew a month, you cannot get impregnated.
Oh, sterilization.
It's supposed to lower your sperm count, right?
Or is that just urban legend?
I would like you to be unable to produce sperm and drop an egg at that point.
If it's overlooked, if you want to have a couple of diet dues a month, that's your business.
I'm talking a couple of two-liter things.
We solve a lot of problems in this nation.