John Mulaney
👤 SpeakerAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
Hand to God.
That's right.
Guy put the condom on.
They were staying at a beach cottage.
Dramatic.
Well, why rent the cottage and then just, you know, shut the drapes and shut the doors?
It was a lot like that scene in 10 when he went to go visit the... Or American Gigolo.
There's a couple of good movies where they went down to the shore to visit the pimps or the whatever.
And, true story, the guy donned the condom.
And he had the windows open, and it was a 10th anniversary.
Now, they were using the condom because she was off the birth control, and they'd already recently had twins, and his penis was savagely attacked by a group of marauding women.
Picked apart.
Until there was almost nothing left.
And obviously the gull can't discern between the flesh of the penis and the beautiful bacon-scented condom that covers it.
It was quite similar.
It was quite similar.
It happened so fast.
Arms out in disbelief.
What would you do if marauding seagulls were attacking your junk?