Jon Stewart

Patrick's Day, and throughout the land, proud Irish-Americans poured into one of three million bars named the Blarney Stone to drink green beer and to pretend Van Morrison's Moondance takes them back to the hills of old Dunkilgarni Derry.

Yonah Burdeen, no glanner.

All in all, it was a day celebrated with parades, parties, and the traditional wearin' o' the green for the traditional camouflagin' o' the vomit.

New York's parade, the country's largest, featured all the fixin's.

How pleasing.

To the delight of those gathered, the Backpipe Ensemble later took requests to play their other song.

Which is actually that song, just faster.

This year's parade once again excluded Irish American gays and lesbians.

And once again, they were not pleased about it.

We're Irish, we're queer, and so are some of you.

All right, may not rhyme, but a quick note to the protesters.

Next year, come up with a chant before the pub crawl.

After the parade, many in the group made their way to the city's only gay Irish pub, Fisty McCramden Hands.

There's old Fisty.

And of course, again, cowboys drink free.

And in Washington, President Bush met with Irish Prime Minister Bertie Ahern to discuss the peace process.

Ahern then turned to Bush and said, and of course a true friend wouldn't keep trying to get me to say they're magically delicious.

A recent poll found that while most Irish Americans know that St.

Patrick was the patron saint of parades, few were aware how his parade has become the subject of great controversy.

Morocco reports on how sometimes the luck of the Irish isn't enough.