Jordan Klepper

It was a great ball.

A delight.

Me too, Zach.

We'll have fun next week.

With bullet points like number 243.

Stripped notorious crackhead and grifter Hunter Biden of his taxpayer-funded Secret Service detail.

President Trump said he wants Iceland, so we're heading to Iceland.

Remember, boys, don't fire until you see the bjorks in their eyes.

What?

Would you rather it fall into the hands of Captain Hook?

You're listening to Comedy Central.

This is The Daily Show with your host, Jordan Clemens.

We got so much to talk about tonight.

Trump cheats on Diet Coke, America adds Greenland to its cart, and New York is officially a communist hellscape.

We did it!

So, let's get into the headlines.

I'll tell you what, there is so much going on in the world today.

Domestic strife, international uprisings, Verizon went down for four hours yesterday, so I had to Google myself on my desktop like a loser.

But with all the chaos in the world, I'm so glad we have a president who's laser-focused on the issues that matter most.

Yes, milk.