Jordan Klepper

Mr. President, thank you for shining a light on this important issue and also for having a big jug of milk on your desk as a visual aid in case people forget what milk is.

I mean, how are these people intolerant of everything except lactose?

But while Trump was focused on his domestic priorities, his underlings were taking care of the smaller issues.

You know, like invading Europe.

Tonight, as President Trump escalates his push to take over Greenland, top officials from Greenland and Denmark traveling to Washington to plead their case to the vice president and secretary of state.

But they emerged saying the two sides have a, quote, fundamental disagreement.

Okay, first of all, why are they doing a press conference from the cocktail hour at a wedding?

This is dark day for Greenland.

Hold on to those crab cakes, sir!

Yes, you can tell this meeting didn't go well.

By the way, the entire delegation rushed to smoke immediately after.

I mean, look.

Look at him rushing.

Look at this guy.

He's literally sprinting to the car to grab a smoke and calm his nerves.

One meeting with J.D.

Vance and Marco Rubio will turn you into the Ben Affleck meme.

So, these diplomatic talks might not work out, and Europe's not waiting to take action.

This is wild.

Germany, Sweden, France, Norway all sent soldiers because of us.