Josh Johnson

What Epstein files?

I'm too distracted memorizing my new home address.

If you want to think of it in terms you can understand, think of it like a bribe, Mr. President.

You're the deal guy.

Make us a deal.

We want to know what's in the Epstein files, but if you put some universal healthcare in your palm and hand it over, Epstein who?

I ain't seen nothing.

Let's kick things off with drug prices.

They're too damn high.

They're so expensive that rappers are balling out on a full prescription, okay?

Singles are dropping like, I gotta drop top bins and a multiply Alexa Pro.

Now, President Trump made big promises about lowering drug prices once he got into office, but all the haters said he was never actually gonna get it done.

Well, guess what, haters?

His promises just got even bigger.

We're going to get the drug prices down, not 30 or 40 percent, which would be great, not 50 or 60, no.

We're going to get them down 1,000 percent, 600 percent, 500 percent, 1,500 percent, numbers that are not even thought to be achievable.

Yeah, I also thought it would not be achievable to lower drug prices 1000% because that's not how percentages work.

Just so you understand, lowering drug prices 100% means it's free.

Lowering it past that means they're gonna give you money.

Next year's Forbes billionaires list is just going to be a bunch of dudes with leukemia.