Julia Dhar

And so really doing two things.

One is press yourself.

So what's the part of my identity that is really coming to the forefront here?

including I'm part of this friend group.

And if, for example, I didn't go out with this friend group on a certain night, maybe they would never be my friends again.

And then I would never have any more friends for the rest of my life.

So when it's pressed, like what's the part of our identity that we're really protecting?

And how true is that?

Is it

possible that I could not be happy as a single person?

Is it possible that there's any other job in the universe that might be meaningful or satisfying to me?

And then the second is actually to look back a little bit.

We call this in psychology the end of history illusion.

Daniel Gilbert and others at Harvard University pioneered this, which is

It's difficult for us to imagine that we will change a lot in the future for most of us.

We think this is a finished product.

But if you ask us to look back, especially earlier in our lives, you say, well, I'm 26 now.

If I look back to the time when I was 16 and ask myself, am I

you say, oh my gosh, I'm basically a different person in so many ways.

And so I can also, it's actually likely that I'll be very different in the future.