Julia Dhar

What should I do instead?

Really important is that we have some kind of replacement for the behavior.

So a good example in a pub would be, well, what would I order instead?

That might be a really good moment to know what my alternative order is.

If you've never contemplated what you would order other than a second drink,

It might be good to have a plan going in before you do so.

And then the next thing to do is to say, well, once I've accomplished a really small version of that goal we've talked about, it could be 24 hours of successfully achieving the goal.

It could be 36.

It could be a month.

Then what happens?

What reward might I give myself?

One of the funny things that happens is that the reward is often very motivating to us.

We're seduced by the idea of the reward.

But once you get there, you find it wasn't that important to you.

You didn't want or need the thing that you were going to reward yourself with because the goal itself has become its own reward.

So get specific upfront.

Get support, including from your own brain about what you're going to do instead, and then have your if-then escape plan.

Yeah, the if-then intentions are so good.

I feel like James Clear wrote about them a lot in Atomic Habit.

Atomic habits.