Julia Dhar
👤 SpeakerAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
And I will usually say, have you made a clear and specific request?
When you are 15 minutes late for our dinners, I interpret that as a sign of disrespect for me and for my time.
Do you think it would be possible for you to plan to be five minutes early in the future?
Clear and specific request.
And note, it's not a trap.
They're free to refuse.
They're free to say, that isn't practical for me.
It's not an abuse of your power and abuse of the relationship.
But you've made a clear and specific request.
And maybe they can respond to that request.
Maybe they can't.
But you at least will know that you have done your part.
What I know for sure is not successful in changing anyone else's behavior
is complaining about it to a third person.
That is the opposite of a successful strategy.
It's enjoyable.
It's very emotionally satisfying.
It unfortunately works 0% of the time.
Yeah.
And it so often feels like emotional processing, right?