Julia Furlan

Hi, Emily.

Shout out to you.

So, Avi's a musician, and our friend Emily helped him realize that he wasn't going to be able to play a gig just days after his dad had died.

Emily's voice was in Avi's head, reminding him that people would understand that he needed time.

So Emily called and explained the situation and it was all okay.

The most meaningful actions don't have to be huge when they show the person that you really care about them.

Another thing that Dr. Harris mentioned is that when you're in grief, you might be having to make logistical choices that are just really challenging.

So as you're handling logistics, offer the person just a very simple choice so that they don't even have to think.

Say something like, hey, do you want me to send you dinner or take your dog for a walk?

And then they can say exactly what they need.

And if you're not the kind of friend who does dishes or has a killer baked ziti, that's fine.

Maybe they need you to come over and play video games or watch several hours of reality television.

Whatever it is, stay true to who you are, and if you can take down the recycling on your way out the door, go for it.

To any of you who maybe forgot to mail something the week after the funeral and have been kicking yourselves, I have news for you.

Grief is forever.

And that brings us to our next takeaway.

Keep reaching out and offering your support.

After that last casserole has been thawed and things are a little quieter, the person who's grieving has still lost somebody.

And your role might be showing up after six months or a year just to see how things are going.

So if you have a memory of the person that they lost or you come across a picture, go ahead and share it with them.