Kail Lowry

Even I'm apologizing to my kids or somebody said to them or my wife or my brothers or anybody else says I'm wrong to my friends.

I feel it spiking up.

Right.

Like I'm about to turn into a werewolf.

I'm like, Oh God, you know, but I have to override that instinct to shut down.

Otherwise, because if I shut down,

It'll sit with me.

If I don't get it out, it's going to come out sooner or later.

That beautiful butterfly in that bottle is going to die and it's going to come out as anger towards somebody who doesn't deserve it.

If I don't want to apologize to my kids, I'll hold it in and that anger might come out on my other kid or my wife or somebody that I work with or something like that, my partner, my friends.

Somebody else is going to get it that doesn't deserve it.

They're like, why are you yelling at me?

I'll just ask you a simple question.

Oh, that's why.

You know, it's something that has happened weeks ago or months ago that I didn't, that I suppressed, that has came out as anger that shouldn't be anger.

And I feel like that's one thing I want when I'm talking to narcissistic men, women, whoever, right?

I tell them, look, you have to be willing to sit with the shame.

The one exercise I've done in therapy that helped me the most, my therapist is like,

If you, if shame was sitting beside you on that couch right now, what would you say to it?

How do you, she's like, first of all, how do you visualize shame?