Kanesha Baynard
speaker
624 appearances
2 recordings
1 series
first heard Nov 2016
last heard Nov 2021
Kanesha Baynard’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
There's a sense of powerlessness that happens for us as parents.
It happens for the kids.
And sometimes when the grandparents see us struggling with that,
they have a sense of powerlessness and that's when they tend to go into this superhero mode where they're giving us all these tips, telling us everything they read, telling us what they should do in this kind of top down way.
And oftentimes the attention is to solve
A problem for us when it really just creates more problems.
And this whole cycle of powerlessness creates these rifts between the adult child, the grandparents, and then also the grandchildren, and then everybody is left feeling a sense of it's just a lot of chaos going on when everybody's trying to help.
Everybody's trying to be on the same page, but no one understands how to get there.
And I think really looking at different protocols to support each other and having these systems in place really helps everybody involved.
understand how they can be helpful even in the most tense
Well, one of the things I like to talk to families about and it usually starts with the parents and extends to the grandparents when they invite them in, is having this
PAL system and I just call it that.
It's an acronym, P A L.
And each letter stands for the P is for patience, the A is for assistance, and the L is for love and learning.
And I always tell parents, start with your PAL system.
You know, have patience with yourself, have patience with the situation, your growth and learning about how to be a parent in this situation, and then to how to how to parent your child.
And always extend that patience in the situations where you know how to handle and the situations that you don't know how to handle.
And then assistance, have a clear list of what you need.
Be clear about your needs and your expectations.
When you need assistance and if you have this clear list.
Showing 121–140 of 624 · page 7 of 32
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