Kate Murphy

So just to throw that term out there.

And generally, we get a read on people within 30 seconds, less than 30 seconds.

But we also move into and out of synchrony with people all the time.

And so things can change within us, within the other person, the context, just the dynamics, what happened to you right before that instance, that can make us do later click, come to lock into one another.

And a lot of it can have to do with just where we are physiologically, but it also can have to do with the context and shared experiences.

We all know about, well, maybe we don't all know, but a lot of us have felt the sensation when you do synchronized activities with other people, like maybe singing at church,

or playing a game with people, walking with one another.

That's another thing that scientists have found, that not only do we sync internally, also when we externally sync with other people, like when we're dancing, marching, even finger tapping at the same time, they've shown in experiences, makes people feel

a sense of affinity, rapport, they share more personal information, and they're more likely to be kind and helpful.

Even babies strapped into face-forward carriers and bounced in sync with an experimenter

they're much more likely to prefer that experimenter versus an experimenter who is not bouncing in sync with them or who's not bouncing at all.

So there are all these factors that can come into whether or not you sync with someone.

So like you say, maybe later when you say maybe they grew on you, maybe you all fell into synchrony later because of your association, because of those conversations that you had that helped you have that neural alignment.

But a lot of times, just in the moment, it happens very quickly when you get a read of someone.

And it can also go the other way, where you have that immediate experience of like, oh, the person is off-putting for whatever reason.

It's just they're not a good fit.

And again, at that moment, at that moment, could change later.

Absolutely.

No, no, that's absolutely true.

And and it's really it's sort of multimodal sync syncing is because I've already talked about it's not only these physical things that we do together.