Kate Murphy

It blew my mind.

First, you would see these two people come together, and you would see the different trends in the

scanners, and you would see the lines going all over the place.

And then at that moment of connection, they totally synced up.

It was a total mirror image.

And that is something that you really do have agency about, that when you do really listen to someone, that when you pay attention to them, when you're aware of them, and you're not in your own head thinking about what you're going to say next or waiting for their lips to stop moving so you can start talking, you're really

letting the person in to even sync up with you, that you do have agency in that way, where you really are attending, listening, building, nurturing, kind of bringing this about between you and the other person.

It doesn't happen if you're looking at your phone, if you're looking at the other way, or importantly, if you're inside yourself.

Yeah, absolutely.

This is a complicated topic and it's hard to talk about because there is this sense that you do, just like you have your personality, that you do have this basic affective presence.

But again, it's like tuning a radio.

There's a difference between whether or not you will

pick up somebody's station and really know what they're playing and understand them and whether or not you really feel like you are totally connected with that person and that's the person that you want to have spend your holidays with.

Do you know what I mean?

There's sort of a difference of whether or not they're playing this wonderful song and whether or not you are really understanding them and can have a working, productive relationship with that person.

Does that make sense?

Yes, they can.

Exactly.

And to really be mindful of when you're talking about this sense of health, it is as crucial to have these moments of synchrony all through the day as it is to eat and drink.

It is something that is so essential to our well-being.