Katherine Morgan Schafler

And so she's going to go out and drink more because she is in this mentality of I already ruined it, you know, so I don't deserve to do the thing that a healthy person would do. And I said, sometimes what I ask people when they make a mistake in recovering and they have a relapse is like, what would you do in this moment if you were five years sober?

What would a person who's five years sober do with these feelings they're feeling? And the person knows. They're like, and she said, I would just take a bath. I've been cold all day. And so something as simple as taking a bath, Ava is not going to do because taking a bath is for someone who didn't just mess up. Taking a bath is for someone who's smart and healthy, which she has decided she is not.

What would a person who's five years sober do with these feelings they're feeling? And the person knows. They're like, and she said, I would just take a bath. I've been cold all day. And so something as simple as taking a bath, Ava is not going to do because taking a bath is for someone who didn't just mess up. Taking a bath is for someone who's smart and healthy, which she has decided she is not.

What would a person who's five years sober do with these feelings they're feeling? And the person knows. They're like, and she said, I would just take a bath. I've been cold all day. And so something as simple as taking a bath, Ava is not going to do because taking a bath is for someone who didn't just mess up. Taking a bath is for someone who's smart and healthy, which she has decided she is not.

And so she's in a cycle of punishment. And to me, I define a punishment as doing something you know is going to hurt you or denying yourself something you know is going to help you.

And so she's in a cycle of punishment. And to me, I define a punishment as doing something you know is going to hurt you or denying yourself something you know is going to help you.

And so she's in a cycle of punishment. And to me, I define a punishment as doing something you know is going to hurt you or denying yourself something you know is going to help you.

And if I could wave a magic wand and get the reader of The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control or the listeners of your podcast to just hear one thing out of all the things I'm yip-yapping about, it is that punishment doesn't work. Personal accountability works, discipline works, rehabilitation works, and natural consequences unfolding work. Those are all very effective strategies for change.

And if I could wave a magic wand and get the reader of The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control or the listeners of your podcast to just hear one thing out of all the things I'm yip-yapping about, it is that punishment doesn't work. Personal accountability works, discipline works, rehabilitation works, and natural consequences unfolding work. Those are all very effective strategies for change.

And if I could wave a magic wand and get the reader of The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control or the listeners of your podcast to just hear one thing out of all the things I'm yip-yapping about, it is that punishment doesn't work. Personal accountability works, discipline works, rehabilitation works, and natural consequences unfolding work. Those are all very effective strategies for change.

Punishment is not. Punishment not only doesn't work, it makes everything worse. And the whole grand plan there is I'm going to make myself feel so pained about this situation that it's going to motivate me to never be in this situation again. And so you're trying to heal yourself by hurting yourself.

Punishment is not. Punishment not only doesn't work, it makes everything worse. And the whole grand plan there is I'm going to make myself feel so pained about this situation that it's going to motivate me to never be in this situation again. And so you're trying to heal yourself by hurting yourself.

Punishment is not. Punishment not only doesn't work, it makes everything worse. And the whole grand plan there is I'm going to make myself feel so pained about this situation that it's going to motivate me to never be in this situation again. And so you're trying to heal yourself by hurting yourself.

And when you think of the times that you've made the healthiest decisions, the most right decisions, the decisions that you feel are most reflective of who you are, your strongest, best self, you have made those decisions because you are in touch with a sense of strength and goodness inside yourself. There's a part of you that says, I'm a good person and I'm capable of good things.

And when you think of the times that you've made the healthiest decisions, the most right decisions, the decisions that you feel are most reflective of who you are, your strongest, best self, you have made those decisions because you are in touch with a sense of strength and goodness inside yourself. There's a part of you that says, I'm a good person and I'm capable of good things.

And when you think of the times that you've made the healthiest decisions, the most right decisions, the decisions that you feel are most reflective of who you are, your strongest, best self, you have made those decisions because you are in touch with a sense of strength and goodness inside yourself. There's a part of you that says, I'm a good person and I'm capable of good things.

and I can do this, and I deserve this. So you make good decisions when you feel good. And when you feel bad, which punishment is what, that's all punishment does. That's how you can tell if you're punishing yourself, because the goal of the punishment is to create pain. And that's how you can tell if you're punishing someone else too.

and I can do this, and I deserve this. So you make good decisions when you feel good. And when you feel bad, which punishment is what, that's all punishment does. That's how you can tell if you're punishing yourself, because the goal of the punishment is to create pain. And that's how you can tell if you're punishing someone else too.

and I can do this, and I deserve this. So you make good decisions when you feel good. And when you feel bad, which punishment is what, that's all punishment does. That's how you can tell if you're punishing yourself, because the goal of the punishment is to create pain. And that's how you can tell if you're punishing someone else too.

Like the silent treatment, punishment, your goal is to make someone feel bad. when you feel bad, you make decisions that aren't the best, brightest, boldest decisions. When you feel bad, you make decisions that make you feel, when you feel bad, you are not feeling strong, you're feeling weak, right?