Katherine Morgan Schafler

Like the silent treatment, punishment, your goal is to make someone feel bad. when you feel bad, you make decisions that aren't the best, brightest, boldest decisions. When you feel bad, you make decisions that make you feel, when you feel bad, you are not feeling strong, you're feeling weak, right?

Like the silent treatment, punishment, your goal is to make someone feel bad. when you feel bad, you make decisions that aren't the best, brightest, boldest decisions. When you feel bad, you make decisions that make you feel, when you feel bad, you are not feeling strong, you're feeling weak, right?

And so you're like, well, it might as well, or I already ruined it, or you just have this defeatist attitude. And so I explain what happens to Ava in the rest of that chapter. And I think we all have like an Ava inside of us. That's like, I know what the right thing to do is, but I already ruined it.

And so you're like, well, it might as well, or I already ruined it, or you just have this defeatist attitude. And so I explain what happens to Ava in the rest of that chapter. And I think we all have like an Ava inside of us. That's like, I know what the right thing to do is, but I already ruined it.

And so you're like, well, it might as well, or I already ruined it, or you just have this defeatist attitude. And so I explain what happens to Ava in the rest of that chapter. And I think we all have like an Ava inside of us. That's like, I know what the right thing to do is, but I already ruined it.

People do this all the time when, when they're trying to do a goal and they have like those four golden days of January 1st and 2nd and January 3rd and January 4th. And I'm on it. And this year is different. And then January 5th comes and they take a backwards step back. Yeah. And they're like, well, now I'm going to make this a whole narrative about how I'm a failure and I'm not a good person.

People do this all the time when, when they're trying to do a goal and they have like those four golden days of January 1st and 2nd and January 3rd and January 4th. And I'm on it. And this year is different. And then January 5th comes and they take a backwards step back. Yeah. And they're like, well, now I'm going to make this a whole narrative about how I'm a failure and I'm not a good person.

People do this all the time when, when they're trying to do a goal and they have like those four golden days of January 1st and 2nd and January 3rd and January 4th. And I'm on it. And this year is different. And then January 5th comes and they take a backwards step back. Yeah. And they're like, well, now I'm going to make this a whole narrative about how I'm a failure and I'm not a good person.

And I don't deserve to feel good because look, I couldn't even do it for five days. And then you start this punitive self-talk and all this punishment. And then you do the exact thing that you've been trying and working hard to not do. And it's like, look, relapsing, taking step backwards, that's a part of growth. You can't, repetition is how we learn.

And I don't deserve to feel good because look, I couldn't even do it for five days. And then you start this punitive self-talk and all this punishment. And then you do the exact thing that you've been trying and working hard to not do. And it's like, look, relapsing, taking step backwards, that's a part of growth. You can't, repetition is how we learn.

And I don't deserve to feel good because look, I couldn't even do it for five days. And then you start this punitive self-talk and all this punishment. And then you do the exact thing that you've been trying and working hard to not do. And it's like, look, relapsing, taking step backwards, that's a part of growth. You can't, repetition is how we learn.

And we think repetition, like repeating the same mistake over and over again, we think that that's an emblem of our failure. No, that's an emblem of our growth. Repetition can represent failure, but it can also represent learning. We need repetition to learn. And we hate that about learning. We just want someone to tell us the definition of a word and then forever somehow memorize it and know it.

And we think repetition, like repeating the same mistake over and over again, we think that that's an emblem of our failure. No, that's an emblem of our growth. Repetition can represent failure, but it can also represent learning. We need repetition to learn. And we hate that about learning. We just want someone to tell us the definition of a word and then forever somehow memorize it and know it.

And we think repetition, like repeating the same mistake over and over again, we think that that's an emblem of our failure. No, that's an emblem of our growth. Repetition can represent failure, but it can also represent learning. We need repetition to learn. And we hate that about learning. We just want someone to tell us the definition of a word and then forever somehow memorize it and know it.

But that's not how it works. I can't even remember the restaurant I went to last week. It's on the tip of my tongue. I might need to have some repetition of that for a while. Habits need to be in repetition. thinking of ourselves as people who are strong, capable, good, worthy, loving, free, that identity structure needs some repeating. And by some repeating, I mean, maybe it takes you years.

But that's not how it works. I can't even remember the restaurant I went to last week. It's on the tip of my tongue. I might need to have some repetition of that for a while. Habits need to be in repetition. thinking of ourselves as people who are strong, capable, good, worthy, loving, free, that identity structure needs some repeating. And by some repeating, I mean, maybe it takes you years.

But that's not how it works. I can't even remember the restaurant I went to last week. It's on the tip of my tongue. I might need to have some repetition of that for a while. Habits need to be in repetition. thinking of ourselves as people who are strong, capable, good, worthy, loving, free, that identity structure needs some repeating. And by some repeating, I mean, maybe it takes you years.

That's okay. That's what it takes for everybody.

That's okay. That's what it takes for everybody.

That's okay. That's what it takes for everybody.