Katherine Morgan Schafler

I mean, that's the spine of the book is like, we are trading our inherent power for all of this control that doesn't even work and is an illusion in the first place. And it's tantamount to like trying to move a car by getting behind it and pushing it instead of just sitting in the driver's seat and driving it.

But we don't know the difference between control and power or like how to access our power. And one of the best ways to access power is through self-compassion. But we live in a culture which teaches us that self-compassion is kind of like this hippie thing to do. And especially in corporate America, it's not the move, right?

But we don't know the difference between control and power or like how to access our power. And one of the best ways to access power is through self-compassion. But we live in a culture which teaches us that self-compassion is kind of like this hippie thing to do. And especially in corporate America, it's not the move, right?

But we don't know the difference between control and power or like how to access our power. And one of the best ways to access power is through self-compassion. But we live in a culture which teaches us that self-compassion is kind of like this hippie thing to do. And especially in corporate America, it's not the move, right?

That you need to be hard on yourself and punitive with yourself and bust your ass and do all of this stuff. And that's what's going to get you across the finish line. And the research says the exact opposite. When people are punitive with themselves, they burn out. They don't operate with premium energy. They're not solutions oriented. They have less creativity.

That you need to be hard on yourself and punitive with yourself and bust your ass and do all of this stuff. And that's what's going to get you across the finish line. And the research says the exact opposite. When people are punitive with themselves, they burn out. They don't operate with premium energy. They're not solutions oriented. They have less creativity.

That you need to be hard on yourself and punitive with yourself and bust your ass and do all of this stuff. And that's what's going to get you across the finish line. And the research says the exact opposite. When people are punitive with themselves, they burn out. They don't operate with premium energy. They're not solutions oriented. They have less creativity.

You know, it's just negative across the board. And so the three, do you want to get into the three steps of self-compassion? Okay. So the first is self-kindness. And again, what I love about Dr. Neff is she really funnels it down to like, talk about what kindness is.

You know, it's just negative across the board. And so the three, do you want to get into the three steps of self-compassion? Okay. So the first is self-kindness. And again, what I love about Dr. Neff is she really funnels it down to like, talk about what kindness is.

You know, it's just negative across the board. And so the three, do you want to get into the three steps of self-compassion? Okay. So the first is self-kindness. And again, what I love about Dr. Neff is she really funnels it down to like, talk about what kindness is.

And she starts kindness in the most interesting way, which is being able to just acknowledge you're in pain and that's why you need to be kind to yourself. You're not just having a bad day. You're not just flustered. You're in pain right now and you need to

And she starts kindness in the most interesting way, which is being able to just acknowledge you're in pain and that's why you need to be kind to yourself. You're not just having a bad day. You're not just flustered. You're in pain right now and you need to

And she starts kindness in the most interesting way, which is being able to just acknowledge you're in pain and that's why you need to be kind to yourself. You're not just having a bad day. You're not just flustered. You're in pain right now and you need to

move towards yourself instead of away from yourself and have some empathy so when I think about the difference between being kind and polite empathy comes into play and empathy is about being able to understand what someone is feeling and the someone in this case is yourself and so that looks like

move towards yourself instead of away from yourself and have some empathy so when I think about the difference between being kind and polite empathy comes into play and empathy is about being able to understand what someone is feeling and the someone in this case is yourself and so that looks like

move towards yourself instead of away from yourself and have some empathy so when I think about the difference between being kind and polite empathy comes into play and empathy is about being able to understand what someone is feeling and the someone in this case is yourself and so that looks like

Let's just say you had a really bad meeting and you're starting the negative self-talk of like, I can't believe I said that. I can't believe I said that. I am so embarrassed. That was such a blah, blah, blah, all the things. Self-compassion would look like disrupting that. and saying, God, it is really hard to feel this embarrassed. I am in pain. Like this hurts. This is the worst.

Let's just say you had a really bad meeting and you're starting the negative self-talk of like, I can't believe I said that. I can't believe I said that. I am so embarrassed. That was such a blah, blah, blah, all the things. Self-compassion would look like disrupting that. and saying, God, it is really hard to feel this embarrassed. I am in pain. Like this hurts. This is the worst.

Let's just say you had a really bad meeting and you're starting the negative self-talk of like, I can't believe I said that. I can't believe I said that. I am so embarrassed. That was such a blah, blah, blah, all the things. Self-compassion would look like disrupting that. and saying, God, it is really hard to feel this embarrassed. I am in pain. Like this hurts. This is the worst.

And you have to acknowledge that. Whereas I think when people, when we tell people to just be nice to themselves, they have the exact same flustered meeting. And then they're like, it's okay. You're okay. And it like falls flat because we know what the truth feels like. And that's not the truth. You're not okay. Like, and it wasn't an okay meeting. You didn't do a good job. Like,