Katherine Morgan Schafler

And you have to acknowledge that. Whereas I think when people, when we tell people to just be nice to themselves, they have the exact same flustered meeting. And then they're like, it's okay. You're okay. And it like falls flat because we know what the truth feels like. And that's not the truth. You're not okay. Like, and it wasn't an okay meeting. You didn't do a good job. Like,

And you have to acknowledge that. Whereas I think when people, when we tell people to just be nice to themselves, they have the exact same flustered meeting. And then they're like, it's okay. You're okay. And it like falls flat because we know what the truth feels like. And that's not the truth. You're not okay. Like, and it wasn't an okay meeting. You didn't do a good job. Like,

And that's the truth. And that doesn't have any commentary on who you are, right? It just means you had a bad meeting. It was not your shiniest moment. And so that self-kindness is being able to acknowledge like, God, this is hard. I'm hurting. The second one is common humanity. which is being able to say that we live amongst billions of people and billions of people have lived before us.

And that's the truth. And that doesn't have any commentary on who you are, right? It just means you had a bad meeting. It was not your shiniest moment. And so that self-kindness is being able to acknowledge like, God, this is hard. I'm hurting. The second one is common humanity. which is being able to say that we live amongst billions of people and billions of people have lived before us.

And that's the truth. And that doesn't have any commentary on who you are, right? It just means you had a bad meeting. It was not your shiniest moment. And so that self-kindness is being able to acknowledge like, God, this is hard. I'm hurting. The second one is common humanity. which is being able to say that we live amongst billions of people and billions of people have lived before us.

And hopefully if we, you know, can switch gears, billions of people will live after us on this world, which is in fire. And someone somewhere is having your exact experience and like, you're not alone in that. And that is part generating connection, part like Get out of the narcissistic mindset that like you are the only one who's ever suffered this much.

And hopefully if we, you know, can switch gears, billions of people will live after us on this world, which is in fire. And someone somewhere is having your exact experience and like, you're not alone in that. And that is part generating connection, part like Get out of the narcissistic mindset that like you are the only one who's ever suffered this much.

And hopefully if we, you know, can switch gears, billions of people will live after us on this world, which is in fire. And someone somewhere is having your exact experience and like, you're not alone in that. And that is part generating connection, part like Get out of the narcissistic mindset that like you are the only one who's ever suffered this much.

And the more you're experiencing something that is taboo in our culture to talk about, the more shame you're going to feel and the more alone you're going to feel. So, for example, sexual molestation, right? We don't talk about that. It's not okay to talk about it, you know, all the things.

And the more you're experiencing something that is taboo in our culture to talk about, the more shame you're going to feel and the more alone you're going to feel. So, for example, sexual molestation, right? We don't talk about that. It's not okay to talk about it, you know, all the things.

And the more you're experiencing something that is taboo in our culture to talk about, the more shame you're going to feel and the more alone you're going to feel. So, for example, sexual molestation, right? We don't talk about that. It's not okay to talk about it, you know, all the things.

So someone who is feeling that is not going to feel a sense of common humanity because it feels so uncommon to them. They're probably thinking nobody in my circle has ever had to experience something like this or if you, you know.

So someone who is feeling that is not going to feel a sense of common humanity because it feels so uncommon to them. They're probably thinking nobody in my circle has ever had to experience something like this or if you, you know.

So someone who is feeling that is not going to feel a sense of common humanity because it feels so uncommon to them. They're probably thinking nobody in my circle has ever had to experience something like this or if you, you know.

It's so common, you know, same with domestic violence, you know, suicide, all of these issues which are so common but are still shamed in our culture and which are still weighed down with stigma. It's like, if you're feeling that stuff, one way to kind of generate common humanity is... Just imagining yourself in a room full of people who are talking about that experience.

It's so common, you know, same with domestic violence, you know, suicide, all of these issues which are so common but are still shamed in our culture and which are still weighed down with stigma. It's like, if you're feeling that stuff, one way to kind of generate common humanity is... Just imagining yourself in a room full of people who are talking about that experience.

It's so common, you know, same with domestic violence, you know, suicide, all of these issues which are so common but are still shamed in our culture and which are still weighed down with stigma. It's like, if you're feeling that stuff, one way to kind of generate common humanity is... Just imagining yourself in a room full of people who are talking about that experience.

And that's why support groups are helpful, for example, because they generate a sense of common humanity of like, oh, I'm not the only one who's X, Y, and Z. And that's why frameworks like AA and things like that, it's a community. It's community. And what community is, is like shared common humanity. And then the last component of self-compassion is mindfulness.

And that's why support groups are helpful, for example, because they generate a sense of common humanity of like, oh, I'm not the only one who's X, Y, and Z. And that's why frameworks like AA and things like that, it's a community. It's community. And what community is, is like shared common humanity. And then the last component of self-compassion is mindfulness.

And that's why support groups are helpful, for example, because they generate a sense of common humanity of like, oh, I'm not the only one who's X, Y, and Z. And that's why frameworks like AA and things like that, it's a community. It's community. And what community is, is like shared common humanity. And then the last component of self-compassion is mindfulness.