Kathleen Madigan

Come on.

I already have my outfit picked out.

I'm like, I'm going to be that check, the diamond print pattern.

It's going to be green.

And white and Fairmont track in Illinois because people are like, with comedy, do you feel like your dreams came true?

I'm like, this was not my dream.

There might be some funny lady riding a horse somewhere right now because I thought I was going to be a jockey.

And then I thought I was going to be a pit boss, but I can't do math.

Those guys are like fucking human computers.

And then I wonder, like, my one nephew's autistic, and he's super-duper good at math.

Not everybody is.

I'm not putting everybody in that group.

But I wonder how many of them were autistic, and that was just easy for them.

How do you look at that whole, on a Saturday night...

When every number's got money all over it and they know every fucking chip.

I'm like, I can't.

Stan and I would just have loved it.

If I could do math quickly and accurately.

I mean, I can't do it at all.

But if I could just do any of it.