Kathleen Madigan
speaker
1,075 appearances
2 recordings
2 series
first heard Mar 2025
last heard 20 Jan
Kathleen Madigan’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jan 2026 with 1.
Appearances
Yeah, I got a pool. That wasn't cheap either. That was a big dynamite. That was a big blast.
Well, Davidson County, but I'm not downtown. I'm out by the airport, which is even better. It's only eight minutes door to door from the airport, but it's on a lake, which is really a river. I've come to figure out, Tennessee, we all have different definitions of lakes. This is a working river, like barges come through and stuff. Oh.
Yeah, and I was fishing like three coves over and there were actually cows in it. So, you know, they came down to get a drink and they went all the way in. But I just wouldn't wear your best swimming suit here. Not a white one, not a white one. Yeah, I mean, I'll still get in and I'll still eat the fish. Although I probably should. There's a DuPont chemical factory. Oh, God. Yeah, I know.
But I ate a bass out of here like two years ago. I'm fine.
Das Gute ist, wenn du auf einem Meer bist, sind die Steine weniger wahrscheinlich als ein mannschaftliches Meer, wo sie sich in diesen Böden sehr komfortabel befinden.
Ja, seit Jahren und Jahren. Und die Wasserbocken sind, sie sind gewaltig, sie sind aggressiv. Und hier, die Meerseite, hält zumindest alles los. Ja. Also, ja.
No, I would never go beyond the night I'm in. But that's just... That's kind of how I live my entire life. There have been nights or a corporate gig that's just terrible. I did one in Miami and half of them didn't speak English. I'm like, really? I think it was Deutsche Bank. I'm like, did we have to ask this on the questionnaire? Do you speak English? I thought that was a given.
There have been nights that have been very frustrating. But that's the great thing about stand-up to me is that Tomorrow is a brand new day. This is where I was saying to my brother after the Super Bowl, if you're Patrick Mahomes, you have to wait all the way till next September to... Ja, das ist ein ganz neuer Tag. Just other entertainment, you don't get that chance the next night.
Yeah, I like being solo because I feel like it's all on me, whether it's good or bad. That's why I hate improv. Like, I just don't want to rely on other people.
Like, if we're going to win, I'm winning. If I lose, I lose. But this whole, you know, there's six of us and let's see what happens.
I used to do a joke a long time ago about the figure skaters that are the pairs. And like, you know, when the other person falls, the other person is always very nice about it. And I just don't know that I could control my temper like that. Like I might skate around just to chop off one of his fingers while he's down there. So this is why we're not on the cereal box.
Because you couldn't keep your shit together. And now I don't get a medal. I don't know that I could be that forgiving when all you've done for 10 years is work on one thing.
Gott, ich habe keine Tänzer. Ich bin nur fünf Fuß groß. Ich fühle mich nicht genug für so eine große Stage. Es scheint, als wären wir verpasst. People.
If you think about it too hard, you will run away. Ja, ja. Yeah, I mean, I've never freaked out enough to actually think about running away, but if you thought about it too long, you might, I think. If you're a normal person and not some crazy malignant narcissist, I mean, you're gonna go, whoa, this is a lot.
Only at corporate gigs and I try not to do them anymore. Because people don't understand that a corporate gig, not everybody there wanted to see comedy, they're not my fans, they're whoever they are. It's playing Russian Roulette. There's gonna be four shows that went fine. But two are gonna be bullets to your soul. And they will kill you. And it's awful. But otherwise, no, I don't get nervous.
There's too much, yeah, that's ill-defined. And at this point, thankfully, I make enough money. I don't need that money, so I can just pass, which is great.
Yeah, the bone. But I was lucky because I was in St. Louis and that was their headquarters back then.
So as soon as I got good enough to be an opening act, they booked me in all the funny bones twice a year. So boom, that's a 30 week. Yeah. I started in 88, like going to open mic nights and stuff. And then in August of 89, I went on the road, like forever. Like I never came back.
That's why when people go, how long is the tour? I'm like, well, so far, 35 years. I'll let you know. I'll let you know when I put my suitcase away for real and the cat doesn't get mad at me. I'll let you know right now.
I still love the road. I don't care where it's at. I'll go anywhere. I like to see what's going on. I like to know. I don't care if it's Cedar Falls or Chicago or Minneapolis, wherever. I don't care if it's cold. I don't like the airport part.
Showing 981–1000 of 1,075 · page 50 of 54
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