Lauren (Caller)

when we were around him, it wasn't like that.

It was just, we were just there and, um, there was no like him authentically trying.

And so that was my stepmom doing that.

And so I just feel bad that she's going to be punished for something she didn't do.

Yeah, I don't, I guess I'm not fully understanding the question or like what you're saying.

I think maybe not that I'm thinking about it more.

I just, I think there's this like guilt in me that I,

I know that it's going to cause issues for her.

And I know, like, I just, I know that me making this decision for me is she's going to get a brunt of it.

Right.

Yeah.

Not really.

No.

No, I, cause I don't believe that I, I owe anyone a relationship with, with me.

I don't believe just because of circumstances of my birth, does that mean that, you know, that automatically gives you access to me?

And I mean, of course I'm always willing to, you know, I've been trying for 30 years to do whatever I can to make him happy and be enough and, and, you know, keep the peace.

And, but,

at some point that comes to a cost of my own like mental health.

And I, just because you, yeah, so I don't, I don't think that anybody gets access to me.

The only person who gets access to me is my children and my husband.