Leo Skeppi

I lost the ability to do that.

Like I didn't have that.

There was nothing I appreciated about myself that I could not exchange for love.

And that was not a nice pill to swallow.

I kind of look at it like poker chips.

All the different traits and values that you have about yourself is like all these little chips you're collecting.

So it helps your bargaining chances when you're trying to gain people's approval or gain their love.

It's like you can look down and see all these chips.

Okay, these are all the reasons that people would like me.

These are all the reasons I would like someone else.

I have all these traits.

Look how lovable I am.

You have all these chips.

And it feels good when you're like able to make a bet and you bet on yourself for an opportunity or for a person to love you or a relationship, friendship, whatever.

You're betting on yourself.

You slide all these fucking chips in.

And then when it doesn't work or you still aren't chosen, you still aren't loved, you watch all those chips get wiped away.

And that's that devastation feeling that I would feel all the time, feel fucked over by God of like, I have all this value and people just mistreat the fuck out of it.

Like I'm going to start hoarding my chips.

And it's like, you introduced the idea of unconditional love.