Leo Skeppi

Nobody seems to care.

And that's not a chip that I've ever been able to bet.

And it's not something that I've felt is appreciated at all in me.

It's just a trait for me.

So I feel better, but I'm like, why?

Like, for fucking what?

Like, just for me?

Like, I didn't care about it.

I didn't care about it for a second.

I was like, why am I even holding on to this?

I wouldn't want it anymore.

I felt like it was a useless thing.

Like, my integrity, as much as I want to change it, I can't.

It just is how my brain works.

It's my way of making decisions.

It doesn't cross my mind certain things.

like it handling it the way i'm gonna handle it is just how i do it i don't think of the other option until like after i'm like oh i could have avoided this by fucking them over actually like when i would be a good friend to people and i wouldn't receive good friendship back or i'd be betrayed i looked at the fact that i'm a good friend as useless like this is not something that gets me anything

why am i a good friend like let's start questioning this chip why are we holding it same thing with the integrity it's like when people externally wouldn't appreciate something i would start to question it i would start to be like why am i even holding on to this chip why do i even have this thing about myself why don't i just get the fuck rid of it you know so that's that's not good that's not like a good way to be living so i've i see now like i was living my life not that external validation

made me feel good as in numbers, money, success, things like that.

It's the things about myself that I was allowed to value are only what was valued.