Leo Skeppi

I should have some kind of hope or some kind of confidence that when I do something, drop something, post the fucking video, that people are going to care, that people still like me.

and that I'm likable, it's been the weirdest thing.

And even with kind things that I do, or things that I do for people, like when I donated $25,000 to pay off school lunch debt two months ago, I didn't get any kind of like,

Ooh, self-esteem from it.

It's like I did it.

It happened.

I know how many people that we helped because you guys matched my donation within like 24 hours.

You fucking doubled it.

And like I'm so excited about that and happy about that.

I'm happy about the cause.

But personally, I get no self-esteem from it.

Like walking around like, yeah, I helped all these people.

I don't have that gloat like validation.

I don't even know how to word this.

I wish there was a word to describe it.

No matter what I do, I don't feel safe that people will still care about me or like me or watch me or anything.

That's kind of the way to word it, I guess.

And it was driving me stupid.

This is the thing that has taken me to a lot of dark spots before, but it took me to a really, really dark spot a couple days ago.

The thing with that experience is I have no self-worth or self-esteem and confidence with the things that I do.