Leslie Jones
Appearances
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Surviving Thanksgiving and Black Friday
Talking to your family is hard. Watching Leslie Jones shut them down is easy.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Surviving Thanksgiving and Black Friday
Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and that means getting together with family members who you might not see eye to eye with. But this Thanksgiving, Leslie Jones will come to your house and politely interject when the conversation becomes political.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Surviving Thanksgiving and Black Friday
Available for all holidays where family are included.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Surviving Thanksgiving and Black Friday
Plus, Leslie can help prevent annoying conversations before they even begin.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Surviving Thanksgiving and Black Friday
I feel... Ah! Leslie will even stop by the kids' table to teach them how to shout down problematic relatives.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Greeted By Sword Dancers in Qatar & RFK Jr. Swims Up S**t Creek | Colum McCann
No, what's unfortunate is that this goofing mother is our vice president. He is such a loser, the trophy decapitated itself. instead of being put in his arms. And look what this mother did to the Pope.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Greeted By Sword Dancers in Qatar & RFK Jr. Swims Up S**t Creek | Colum McCann
His goofy ass killed the Pope! old, beady, little, bitch-eyed, face bitch! And now we got an American pope. And I'ma tell you something. You better stay the away from him! You angel of goofy ass death. In fact, I even got the pope a fake body double so we can protect him. Lenny, come on out here. This is my friend Lenny. Don't he look exactly like the new pope?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Greeted By Sword Dancers in Qatar & RFK Jr. Swims Up S**t Creek | Colum McCann
You look just like him! I'll prove it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Greeted By Sword Dancers in Qatar & RFK Jr. Swims Up S**t Creek | Colum McCann
Okay, do the... Do the punk wave. Do the punk wave. You are the same dude! Now, bless me, holiness, so I can be protected from these goofy-ass motherf***ers.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Greeted By Sword Dancers in Qatar & RFK Jr. Swims Up S**t Creek | Colum McCann
Get out! But seriously. This is to the people who voted this shit in. This cannot be what you mean by making America great again. This is a circus. Other countries are laughing at us right now. We gotta get rid of MAGA because they're not making America great again. They making America goofy asses. But that's just my opinion.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Greeted By Sword Dancers in Qatar & RFK Jr. Swims Up S**t Creek | Colum McCann
What's up, y'all? Did you miss me? Because I definitely have an opinion. I got a problem with these Trump folks. It's not that y'all... It's not that they're corrupt, although they are. It's not that they're evil, although they are. It's not that they're women-hating, racist, unqualified dickheads who couldn't run a Dunkin' Donuts without burning it down. No.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Greeted By Sword Dancers in Qatar & RFK Jr. Swims Up S**t Creek | Colum McCann
My problem is these people are goofy-ass motherf... I thought... I thought Reagan was bad, but at least he knew how to talk. I thought Bush was bad, but at least he has a hilarious name. But what do we have now? J.D. Vance, R.F.K. Jr., and Elon Musk. I cannot believe America is gonna be ended by these loser incels! That's not how I plan to go out.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Greeted By Sword Dancers in Qatar & RFK Jr. Swims Up S**t Creek | Colum McCann
I was going to go out and nestle peacefully between the two Michael B. Jordans. But instead, we get Elon Musk, who is doing this dumb shit.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Greeted By Sword Dancers in Qatar & RFK Jr. Swims Up S**t Creek | Colum McCann
Cut that goofy shit out. This is a cabinet meeting. Have some damn respect. This is official shit. How is this guy firing people? If this guy gave me a pink slip, I'd give his ass a black eye. Why don't you fire one of them hats, bitch? And by the way, how you gonna be Mr. Jokes when you don't even know when you hearing a joke?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Greeted By Sword Dancers in Qatar & RFK Jr. Swims Up S**t Creek | Colum McCann
He was kidding, you goofy mother... What is wrong with you? And how you got so many kids? Cause I wouldn't you with my enemies for . And I hate that bitch. I would rather a turkey based on, hell, I'd rather a turkey! Then we got RFK Jr., another goofing mother . Don't let them muscles fool you, he's a piece of shit. No, literally a piece of shit. This man swims in sewage like a ninja turtle.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Greeted By Sword Dancers in Qatar & RFK Jr. Swims Up S**t Creek | Colum McCann
And they're gonna try to teach us about health?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Greeted By Sword Dancers in Qatar & RFK Jr. Swims Up S**t Creek | Colum McCann
Why the you sound like that? What's wrong with your voice? You don't sound healthy. You talk like you on a bad phone line. Hang up, I don't understand what you're saying. And I can't believe this man is from the Kennedys. I thought the Kennedys had swag. Why we got the T Moose Kennedy? I wish we could do it like we did back in the day.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Greeted By Sword Dancers in Qatar & RFK Jr. Swims Up S**t Creek | Colum McCann
If you was that child, you got locked in the room on holidays because you might hurt somebody. Instead, they put this goofing mother in charge of my health? Now... I want to make sure everyone feels included. Because you Trump women is some goofy ass mother too.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Greeted By Sword Dancers in Qatar & RFK Jr. Swims Up S**t Creek | Colum McCann
Shut up, bitch! How you gonna f*** up questions and answers? That's literally what education is! That's your whole job! Because schools got a big issue right now, like students using AI, but her goofy ass probably can't even spell AI.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Trump Greeted By Sword Dancers in Qatar & RFK Jr. Swims Up S**t Creek | Colum McCann
It's AI, bitch! Not A1. A1 is a steak sauce, you goofy mother . And it's delicious. But you not in charge of Sizzler, you bitch! You are in charge of education. How you letters? But this brings me to the A1 goofiest mother there is. JD Bitch-Ass Vance. Look at the size of that trophy next to JD Vance.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | How Not to Celebrate MLK Day
The holiday didn't go as planned for some today. A business in Duluth, Minnesota created controversy when promoting a sale in honor of the civil rights leader. The sign posted at the shop read, MLK Day Sale, 25% off everything black. but the owner says it was just misinterpreted. 25% off everything black. He was black. He was proud. He looked good. We were celebrating that.