Lewis Black

And look, there's even one for Monica. Speaking of which, how about a Monica cigar? And you know these Monica specials are authentic because as you can see, they're sitting on the Don Juan's. They're making these little honeys in the Philippines and they're selling 20,000 a month.

And look, there's even one for Monica. Speaking of which, how about a Monica cigar? And you know these Monica specials are authentic because as you can see, they're sitting on the Don Juan's. They're making these little honeys in the Philippines and they're selling 20,000 a month.

And just why would you want to do that?

And just why would you want to do that?

Dodie. Diana. Diana. Man, I just can't get that haunting melody out of my head. John? Thank you, Lewis Black. That was excellent.

Dodie. Diana. Diana. Man, I just can't get that haunting melody out of my head. John? Thank you, Lewis Black. That was excellent.

Take us out with a song.

Take us out with a song.

The FBI sees a large percentage of elderly victims.

The FBI sees a large percentage of elderly victims.

To the family, if you knew, if you really knew the way God works, he don't use people who commits anything like that. for his glory. No way, it's the total opposite.

To the family, if you knew, if you really knew the way God works, he don't use people who commits anything like that. for his glory. No way, it's the total opposite.

I'm trying to figure out how you can come to the conclusion right now that diversity had something to do with this crash.

I'm trying to figure out how you can come to the conclusion right now that diversity had something to do with this crash.

Ah, alcohol. It's why I get up in the morning. How my mom made it through her pregnancy. And why I'm not allowed within 50 feet of a horse. Booze is the most committed relationship I'll ever have. But some people know nothing about commitment.

Ah, alcohol. It's why I get up in the morning. How my mom made it through her pregnancy. And why I'm not allowed within 50 feet of a horse. Booze is the most committed relationship I'll ever have. But some people know nothing about commitment.

Well, goody, goody for you. It must be nice to have the luxury of giving up booze while the rest of us are trapped in f***ing reality. Wildfires, bird flu, crippling gambling debts. If you're not blacking out every single night, you're not paying attention. And by the way, why are we giving up alcohol in January? It's colder than Jack Frost's dick.

Well, goody, goody for you. It must be nice to have the luxury of giving up booze while the rest of us are trapped in f***ing reality. Wildfires, bird flu, crippling gambling debts. If you're not blacking out every single night, you're not paying attention. And by the way, why are we giving up alcohol in January? It's colder than Jack Frost's dick.

All your fat friends are posting gym selfies, and it gets dark faster than Justin Trudeau's face on Halloween. Oh, please. Me, I'd much rather give up booze in May. The weather is warm, and I'm already coked up for Cinco de Mayo. But for those of you not sure about dry January, don't worry. There's something even dumber.

All your fat friends are posting gym selfies, and it gets dark faster than Justin Trudeau's face on Halloween. Oh, please. Me, I'd much rather give up booze in May. The weather is warm, and I'm already coked up for Cinco de Mayo. But for those of you not sure about dry January, don't worry. There's something even dumber.