Lewis Black

Ooh, a four year cruise. Sign me up. What better cure for an election hangover than half a decade of pina coladas and freeze dried scallops? Trump's going to slash Medicaid just in time for me to get super herpes from a Swiss widow. Now that every country in the world can see that liberals are terrified, the smart ones are cashing in.

Ooh, a four year cruise. Sign me up. What better cure for an election hangover than half a decade of pina coladas and freeze dried scallops? Trump's going to slash Medicaid just in time for me to get super herpes from a Swiss widow. Now that every country in the world can see that liberals are terrified, the smart ones are cashing in.

Oh, great. An Italian village whose population disappeared. That doesn't sound ominous at all. I'm happy to buy an abandoned home and find out what disemboweled all the cattle. Listen, America may be f***ed, but that doesn't mean I'm moving into Luigi's Haunted Mansion. Plus, America already has a creepy Italian shithole. It's called New Jersey. Wow. Not what I expected.

Oh, great. An Italian village whose population disappeared. That doesn't sound ominous at all. I'm happy to buy an abandoned home and find out what disemboweled all the cattle. Listen, America may be f***ed, but that doesn't mean I'm moving into Luigi's Haunted Mansion. Plus, America already has a creepy Italian shithole. It's called New Jersey. Wow. Not what I expected.

But hey, if you're willing to spend good money to avoid these next four years, I'm willing to take it to you. Okay? Take it from you. That's why I'm offering a product of my own. I call it the Forever Sleepy Time Brick. Just shackle it to your foot and find the nearest body of water. Screaming optional. Ronnie? All right, thank you, Lewis. Lewis Black, everyone.

But hey, if you're willing to spend good money to avoid these next four years, I'm willing to take it to you. Okay? Take it from you. That's why I'm offering a product of my own. I call it the Forever Sleepy Time Brick. Just shackle it to your foot and find the nearest body of water. Screaming optional. Ronnie? All right, thank you, Lewis. Lewis Black, everyone.

When I left the store three blocks away from the store, four undercover cops told me that they would like to see what I've purchased.

When I left the store three blocks away from the store, four undercover cops told me that they would like to see what I've purchased.

My white friend.

My white friend.

I should have next time I know to bring my white friend.

I should have next time I know to bring my white friend.

I went into a store and asked a sales girl if I could see some jeans, and she said, they're so expensive. I felt like I was pretty womaned.

I went into a store and asked a sales girl if I could see some jeans, and she said, they're so expensive. I felt like I was pretty womaned.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, sure.

next week is my favorite day of the year black friday trample a guy on a tuesday afternoon you get charged with assault but do it at a walmart on black friday you get a ps4 but this year something about black friday is twisting everyone's panties

next week is my favorite day of the year black friday trample a guy on a tuesday afternoon you get charged with assault but do it at a walmart on black friday you get a ps4 but this year something about black friday is twisting everyone's panties

Black Friday itself is turning into an entire season. Do I hope Black Friday ends? Absolutely, I can't stand that day.

Black Friday itself is turning into an entire season. Do I hope Black Friday ends? Absolutely, I can't stand that day.