Lindsey Carnick
speaker
315 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Feb 2025
last heard Feb 2025
Lindsey Carnick’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
And the exercise is, is that you pick a really low stakes.
In fact, when I say low, I mean no stakes issue, zero stakes.
An example of a zero stakes issue is what do you like on your pizza?
Zero stakes.
Now, assuming you don't both have identical faces, it has to be something that you do not overlap completely in that diagram.
The fear is,
One of the primary fears around having hard conversations, the reason people avoid them is because they're afraid of disconnect.
And they're afraid that when they have difficult conversations, they will feel even more disconnected from their partner.
And so they avoid them, which ironically creates more disconnection.
It's just a different kind of disconnect.
It's becoming passively disconnected instead of the fear of, if I actively engage in this, we will feel less connected because we will have a disagreement.
We will have a fight.
We will have a conflict.
Yes.
And so this is why people avoid them.
And I love to tell people and show people, because this really is a remarkable thing to experience if you haven't experienced it before, that you can have a flagrant disagreement and stay 100%
And that is a mind-blowing thing to experience if you've never experienced it before.
Because two things tend to happen when people start to even sense disconnection.
One is they preemptively withdraw because they're afraid of the other person withdrawing first.
It's like you want to be the break-upper, not the breakie, right, in a breakup.
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