Lisa Bilyeu
speaker
1,143 appearances
6 recordings
5 series
first heard Nov 2024
last heard 20 Dec
Lisa Bilyeu’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 2 in all, peaking in Dec 2025 with 1.
Appearances
Just don't trick yourself into saying it's not my decision. I wish, I wish, I wish.
Being Greek Orthodox, it wasn't even in my brain or thought process to realize I had a choice whether I wanted kids or not. Now, that may seem crazy now, but I was born in 79, so that I'm 45 years old. So it was at a point where I was like, of course, I'm going to have kids. It didn't even dawn on me that I could ask myself, did I want children?
Now, as Quest started to grow and as I started to just help out, that was like what I was, I'm just going to help out. I'm the good Greek wife, remember? I'm just helping my husband out, not realizing we would grow so quickly. So I'm like, I'm helping out. And then every day I was like, wow, I really love this. Yesterday, I had no idea how to do X, Y, and Z. Today, I figured it out.
Wow, I didn't realize I could do that. And yet I managed to figure it out. I had such low self-esteem that every day I was doing something and figuring something out, I started to build pride. And that pride made me realize that I could maybe be unstoppable. And I actually said that, huh, maybe you could just keep going. keep going.
Maybe you can keep figuring things out and you're not as dumb as you thought you were. So that's an insight into me. When I was a kid, I used to think that I was dumb because I was the artist in the family and I wasn't getting A's, I was getting C's. So the narrative I taught myself growing up was that I was the dumb one in the family.
So by the time Quest started to grow and I started to realize, wow, hang on a minute. I've had this idea that I was really stupid, but I've kind of figured this stuff out. Maybe I'm not as stupid as I thought I was. I was finding the validation.
And that validation piece that I said that I was getting from being the stay-at-home wife, I realized I could now build my validation and being the person that didn't know something one day and could figure it out the next. Now, that idea was so enticing to me. Because imagine now, I fail. Oh, well, if I fail, what did I learn? Oh, great. I'm more powerful for it. Brilliant.
Now I validated myself through the failure. which is insane in and of itself. So I was like, this is fascinating. I wanted to keep going. And that was where I just paused and I said, but Lisa, you're about to have kids. And I was like, well, hang on a minute. Do I actually want kids? And that's where the idea came from. So the way that I processed it is I just are very honest.
What does life actually look like in every possibility? So I just started writing out what are the possibilities? Number one, I quit my job and And I'm a stay-at-home wife. That's a possibility. Number two is that I keep working and I still have babies. That's a possibility because I know women that have done it. Number three is that I decide not to have kids and I just keep working. All right.
Those feel like three very possible buckets. Now what I do is I take an average Wednesday because Alana, we can all trick ourselves into thinking something's going to be amazing, right? We can trick ourselves into be like, oh my God, I really want to have a million subscribers on YouTube like Lisa. Well, let me tell you what a million subscribers come with. Demands. You have to keep serving.
So the idea and the reality are very different because you can... paint a beautiful picture. But let's face it, every time you paint a beautiful picture, it never looks like that. So instead of me saying, I could very much get carried away with the excitement of having children. That is true. The idea of feeling like I've got a baby grown inside of me, I could...
get emotional just thinking about it. The idea of having a little Tom with his ears and he's running around and he's like Tom Jr. the fourth is what we're going to call him because Tom was the third. I love that idea. So I could for sure convince myself why having kids is amazing. But what happens on an average Wednesday? That's what I really want to focus on.
Not on the convincing of how magical it will be. What does your average everyday life actually look like? So now let's paint what an average Wednesday looks like in each of these buckets that I just painted for you. So an average Wednesday of me having both, right? Having kids and running a business. All right, I'm waking up. Let's say the kid is six. I'm waking up at 3 a.m.
I'm helping them with their fever. I'm running them to the doctor at 7 a.m. because I've got to get to work by 9 a.m. I'm at work at 9 a.m., but my kid is crying because they want their mommy and I've left them with a nanny. Okay, then I feel really guilty. And so I'm trying to struggle to get home, but I have this big presentation. That's what a freaking average Wednesday looks like. Oh, yeah.
It's true. Oh, there you go. So I just ask myself with no judgment, is that the life I want? Not anyone else. Does Lisa Bilyeu enjoy that idea of that life? And the answer is no. That feels like freaking chaos to me. I don't function well in chaos. So it actually doesn't sound like a life that I want, an average Wednesday that isn't appealing to me.
You know, when everyone like dreads the week, I don't want to be the person that's just dreading living. I want to enjoy my average Wednesday like I do a Saturday. So I said, that isn't the life I want. Great, now at least I know. So then I went down to the next bucket. What does it look like if I gave up work and dedicated my life to my children? And that's a very possible option.
And so I laid out what an average Wednesday looks like. Okay, well, my husband has been very honest and told me he's very ambitious. He's told me he's not coming home at 6 or 7 p.m. at night. So the reality is I'm somewhat of a single mom Monday to Friday. Now, I'm the type of person that appreciates my husband just telling me. I don't want to find out after I've had the child.
So he's like, peace out, you're on your own. No, thank you. So he's told me this. And so again, not pretending what it would be like to have a child, the actual realities of what it's like to have a child with my husband. And that would be, I'm a single mother from Monday to Friday. Number one. Number two, I'm no longer involved in his daily life, which is building the business. Do I want that?
Am I going to be resentful towards the child? For now, I'm not with my husband doing the thing that actually makes me feel good about myself. I will ask myself all of these questions and then I will go to the final bucket. And that is what if I don't have children? What would it be like on an average Wednesday right now? I would be doing the same.
But what will it look like on an average Wednesday when I'm 80 years old? Maybe my husband's passed away and now I don't have children and I don't have a husband. Will I be okay? And I'm just honest. Once I'm able to be that honest with myself, I'm not pulling the wool over my eyes and I know exactly what I'm getting into.
Showing 1081–1100 of 1,143 · page 55 of 58
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