Lisa Lampanelli

If you found out she was, would you have been crestfallen?

You know that feeling that... Here's what I'm thinking about, and Lisa knows what I'm talking about, because Lisa's been a different weight, and she's been this weight, and life is a lot different, and dating is a lot different when you're thin.

I mean, it's a different.

You hear stories about people who marry their high school sweetheart and that's the only person they've ever slept with.

I don't get that.

And then how do you not wonder?

I mean, Adam's the rare person who pulled it off because remember when we were doing our KLSX show, I was dating a guy and I kind of knew something was wrong, but I couldn't bring myself to... I didn't have the mango-sized balls to break up with him, so I just said, let's go on a three-month break and just take...

To time off.

They remember.

During it, then he met somebody else and fell in love and then they got married.

Right.

Which, by the way, this is nice.

It should always be this dim lighting.

It looks so good.

I have bluffed.

It's a horrible idea.

I really thought, I'm just going to startle him into being present in this relationship.

So just one morning, he's reading his paper, and I just was like, you know what?

This isn't working out.

I'm going to call the landlord, and I'm going to move out.