Lorenzo Tyree

Literally.

Literally.

They serve, like, scrambled eggs, regular shit.

Cold, caught, three bullshit meals, if you can call it that.

Occasional fights, you know, a lot of crackhead energy.

She testified that her favorite movies are Die Hard and Rise of the Living Dead.

The dumbass was out there raw-dogging zombies, which she should have been using the Twilight birth control method.

So, uh, I don't do one night stands anymore.

I do two-night stands.

Otherwise, it makes the bedroom look uneven.

Yeah, last time I hooked up with a girl was on 6th Street, and she takes me home.

I'm super drunk.

She's super high.

We start macking as soon as we walk through the door.

And I go down on her.

I don't know why.

I was just in the moment.

I go down on her.

horny that's why but um yeah she stops me i'm like oh shit is she on her period no like she trans no she told me she had a dui or that's what i thought i heard you know and i'm like why did you why did you tell me this now you drove us here and then you're gonna tell me that that's fucking crazy but

But she tells me, no, no, no, a VYI.