Lucy Porter
speaker
50 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Nov 2025
last heard 26 Nov
Lucy Porter’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Nov 2025 with 1.
Appearances
Adorable.
I'm Lucy Porter, I am a comedian, and I was trying to think of a long journey that I've done related to water, given that we're talking about eels and stuff.
So the longest water journey I ever did was on the River Thames, and it was when I was in my 20s, and my friend was marrying an American woman, and we got on a boat at the Thames Embankment...
at midday and they set sail the couple were going to get married on the boat we were going to sail up and down till about 7 p.m and they started handing out the champagne and we went oh this tastes a bit funny we're all british people in our 20s and they said oh yeah because the americans had organized it and they said oh yeah yeah yeah no we're just having elderflower champagne for now because we thought we'll wait to have alcohol till we get back now if you know british people i'm
In their 20s, we spent seven hours.
People, one person attempted to jump off when they spotted a park.
And we, I mean, I'd be fine with it now, but at that age, yeah, we all crawled off like we were sort of returning from an Arctic adventure.
And it felt like a very long time.
It's taller than me, but it weighs less.
I'll just put that out there.
But I would try and fight one.
I read that some of them use the mucus to sort of protect themselves from scratches.
So I've tried that tonight.
I apologise, Trevor gets this chair afterwards.
But is it a sort of protective layer or what's the function of the mucus?
Just everybody's.
If you're going with eel genitalia, I'm happy.
But did he not check and couldn't find any genitals and then kind of went, oh, well, then that's...
So they have sex and then die.
Yes, that's it.
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