Lucy

Like I was starting to have anxiety attacks a lot, just like unprompted.

And so I think I like my brain is kind of like going into survival mode when I start to get close to someone because they're like, you don't want to have those anxiety attacks.

You don't want to be unhappy and feel stuck again type thing.

Yeah.

Cause like, yeah, I wasn't sure if that was the case or if I was like, cause I'm kind of being like discouraged of dating now or like I haven't been on the dating apps like in a couple months since that guy and I like stopped talking.

Cause I'm like, there's like, I match with good guys, but then I'm like going out of my way to find something to stop talking to them about.

So it's like, like, I don't want to say like, I'm wasting these good guys.

Like that sounds bad.

I don't know how else to rephrase it, but like.

I'm going through all these good guys that could be really good for me or nice, but I'm just maybe not in the right headspace in something.

I don't know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you ever talk to your therapist?

Yeah, I've been in it for about a year now.

I like tell her like every time I go on a date or like if I'm like going through or like, yeah, I tell her like if I got the if from someone and stuff and she says like the family dynamic I have, like my parents and stuff, she said she thinks that has a big thing to do with it.

Like I've never really seen like a good relationship ever in my life.

So she thinks maybe that has something to do with it.

I think that it's, like, could be true.

Like, every relationship I've kind of seen, like, they just fizzled out or, like, even the ones I've been in, they just fizzled out or, like, someone does something bad to the other person.