Mark Groves
speaker
137 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Dec 2024
last heard Dec 2024
Mark Groves’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
We're biological beings before we're soul-based beings, and then we become soul-based beings who can think about our biological pulls. You know, it's like when we have chemistry with someone, it doesn't mean you have to pursue it. So I think of that as like taking charge of your charge, that you're finally in charge of where you direct your energy. And...
What happens is when we, you know, getting back to your friend, kind of, is like when we stop directing ourselves towards what isn't working, we start to create space for what can work, which maybe never has had the opportunity to do that. We don't trust that unknown space. Relationally, what I see happening is like there's a deep desire for a man to be in integrity, right?
And a man to stand for what matters to him. And as David Data talks about, it's like the woman in your life wants to be the most important person, not the most important thing. And if you give up on your purpose or your passion or your principles for your partner, she will not trust you and she will not be attracted to you. And I remember when I learned that, I was like, okay.
I for sure more identified as like the nice guy, I'm gonna be different than other guys, like that kind of bullshit. And I say that because it's like, if my partner would test me, I was such a doormat.
Like when I think of the betrayals I experienced when I was in my late teens, I look back and I'm like, oh my God, I ended up in the exact circumstances that someone ends up with when they don't have access to boundaries and their voice.
I was afraid that if I self-expressed and said that wasn't okay, because I grew up in the 90s and the 80s, so the story was that men are bad, they're toxic, they're evil, they're rapists, they're murderers. I used to think that that dialogue was going down, but I'd actually say that it's way higher than even my childhood.
So if a woman or a man or both are not there to speak the nuance to boys and girls, but especially boys, that those are some men. but they're not all men. Just like women who have toxic traits, those are some women. They're not all women. How do we actually stand in our values and really step into our integrity? I think for me as a man, that's been the most liberating thing.
And I think as a father, I activated a whole new level when I thought, okay, who do I tell my son I am? And does that match who I am? And that being a whole new level of integrity that's necessary, which was there, but not with the same potency. Yeah.
I think we're really craving that the masculine has access to things. Like, I was talking to a friend yesterday about this, that there's something primal about moving weights and hiking and hunting that activates a part of you. Like, I would love to see a bunch of men go hunting with like bows or guns, it doesn't really matter, and check their testosterone before and after.
Because for sure it would go up, just from this like, I'm out here, I'm gonna go get some elk for my woman and bring it back for my family, you know, put some blood under my eyes or, you know. But there's, I think we are all craving this like, we demonized roles that were innately part of our evolution. And it doesn't mean that there can't be other roles.
But what I'm saying is that we demonize them. So we made them wrong. Just like if you're a woman, it's like you got to be a boss, babe. And now if you want to be like a stay-at-home mom, that's shamed. So it's like, how do you win? And it's like, you're not trying to win. Who gives a shit about winning? What do you want to do? What's authentic to you? Exactly.
Yeah, the sacredness at which we approach all of it is what's imperative. You know, and I think one of the things that I always experience from my wife is that she sees things I don't see within myself. And so I actually see her as this sacred vessel that allows me to grow in ways that I couldn't do without her.
And also after we had a son, I was just like, I had reverence that women were a portal. But when I actually experienced her being a portal, I was like, holy shit, you just built a human. And then he came out of you. And witnessing her as a mother, all of these things just, I was like, man, it's just so profound to think about just how sacred of a being a woman is. Men, great, I feel sacred.
You are earth, you are life. That's freaking crazy.
Oh man. Uh, you can find me at markgroves.com and I have a community called the create the love community where I know all my courses and all that stuff are in there. And then I also have a podcast, the Mark Groves podcast, which I look forward to having you on. And, um, yeah, that's, you can find me all there. I took a hiatus from Instagram.
But I think create the love will be coming back in January. I have a lot of thoughts on the nervous system and social media and being a business, etc. That I've been like putting together that. Yeah, I want to teach because I've just had so many profound awarenesses for myself.
Well, thanks for having me on. I really appreciate it.
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