Mary Helen Immordino-Yang

Are you done with this physics problem and project, or do you want to work more on it?

What have you accomplished?

Where are you stuck?

What have you learned?

What would you do differently next time?

And they refused to give direct feedback about the end point, the achievement, and she found it incredibly difficult.

And at one point, about halfway through the year,

She would talk to me every night before she went to bed.

And she said to me, you know, mom, I've realized something about myself.

It's kind of embarrassing to admit.

I said, yeah.

She said, yeah.

You know those kids in high school who have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, not because they really love the person, but because they just, you know, want somebody to walk into the party with and to sit with at lunch and to laugh at their jokes and tell them they look nice?

And I said, yeah.

And she said, well, that's grades for me.

I'm ashamed to admit that I use them to remind myself that I'm smart, that I have potential, that I've worked hard, rather than thinking about how do I decide for myself if I'm smart or I have potential or I've worked hard?

Why am I doing this?

And she had to really rethink and re-engage in a very different way in her own work.

And it was extremely difficult, but so fulfilling for her over time.

And I think it