Matt Abrahams

So as somebody's talking, I'm saying, what's the core essence? What's the bottom line? If I had to paraphrase or summarize what they said, what would I say? And when you listen that way, you listen more deeply. So in conversation, I'm listening for the bottom line. And that's where I start my response. So I might even comment on what that bottom line is.

So if we're having a conversation, Hala, and you say, hey, I just got back from Hawaii, and I say, oh, which island did you go to? That's a supporting tactic. That invites you to say more. If I say, oh, I just got back from Costa Rica, that's a switching tactic.

So if we're having a conversation, Hala, and you say, hey, I just got back from Hawaii, and I say, oh, which island did you go to? That's a supporting tactic. That invites you to say more. If I say, oh, I just got back from Costa Rica, that's a switching tactic.

So if we're having a conversation, Hala, and you say, hey, I just got back from Hawaii, and I say, oh, which island did you go to? That's a supporting tactic. That invites you to say more. If I say, oh, I just got back from Costa Rica, that's a switching tactic.

So if we're having a conversation, Hala, and you say, hey, I just got back from Hawaii, and I say, oh, which island did you go to? That's a supporting tactic. That invites you to say more. If I say, oh, I just got back from Costa Rica, that's a switching tactic.

So if we're having a conversation, Hala, and you say, hey, I just got back from Hawaii, and I say, oh, which island did you go to? That's a supporting tactic. That invites you to say more. If I say, oh, I just got back from Costa Rica, that's a switching tactic.

You want to balance these out. And the research suggests you want to be slightly more supporting than switching, because that puts the other person in the position of you demonstrating interest and you wanting to hear what they have to say. The same ideas apply to disclosure of our own stories. We want to share some, but not too much.

You want to balance these out. And the research suggests you want to be slightly more supporting than switching, because that puts the other person in the position of you demonstrating interest and you wanting to hear what they have to say. The same ideas apply to disclosure of our own stories. We want to share some, but not too much.

You want to balance these out. And the research suggests you want to be slightly more supporting than switching, because that puts the other person in the position of you demonstrating interest and you wanting to hear what they have to say. The same ideas apply to disclosure of our own stories. We want to share some, but not too much.

You want to balance these out. And the research suggests you want to be slightly more supporting than switching, because that puts the other person in the position of you demonstrating interest and you wanting to hear what they have to say. The same ideas apply to disclosure of our own stories. We want to share some, but not too much.

You want to balance these out. And the research suggests you want to be slightly more supporting than switching, because that puts the other person in the position of you demonstrating interest and you wanting to hear what they have to say. The same ideas apply to disclosure of our own stories. We want to share some, but not too much.

I might say, oh, you're really curious about this. So I name it. And then I add to it. So we have to listen better. We have to listen for the bottom line. So as you're listening to somebody, think about if I had to paraphrase what they're saying, what would I say? So use that as the starting point for what you want to contribute next.

I might say, oh, you're really curious about this. So I name it. And then I add to it. So we have to listen better. We have to listen for the bottom line. So as you're listening to somebody, think about if I had to paraphrase what they're saying, what would I say? So use that as the starting point for what you want to contribute next.

I might say, oh, you're really curious about this. So I name it. And then I add to it. So we have to listen better. We have to listen for the bottom line. So as you're listening to somebody, think about if I had to paraphrase what they're saying, what would I say? So use that as the starting point for what you want to contribute next.

I might say, oh, you're really curious about this. So I name it. And then I add to it. So we have to listen better. We have to listen for the bottom line. So as you're listening to somebody, think about if I had to paraphrase what they're saying, what would I say? So use that as the starting point for what you want to contribute next.

I might say, oh, you're really curious about this. So I name it. And then I add to it. So we have to listen better. We have to listen for the bottom line. So as you're listening to somebody, think about if I had to paraphrase what they're saying, what would I say? So use that as the starting point for what you want to contribute next.

We should be communicating in a way that gets the other person to talk more, but we still have to share some of our stories. So the rule of thumb that they have in this switching versus supporting approach is you want two-thirds supporting, one-third switching.

We should be communicating in a way that gets the other person to talk more, but we still have to share some of our stories. So the rule of thumb that they have in this switching versus supporting approach is you want two-thirds supporting, one-third switching.

We should be communicating in a way that gets the other person to talk more, but we still have to share some of our stories. So the rule of thumb that they have in this switching versus supporting approach is you want two-thirds supporting, one-third switching.

We should be communicating in a way that gets the other person to talk more, but we still have to share some of our stories. So the rule of thumb that they have in this switching versus supporting approach is you want two-thirds supporting, one-third switching.