Matt Bernstein

Also very nice to meet you.

A pleasure.

But you can follow me.

You can follow my shows, Kill the Computer and Ill-Conceived.

You can find those anywhere that you listen to podcasts.

And I work for The Onion.

Support The Onion.

Hell yeah.

You can follow me on Blue Sky or Twitter if you want.

But honestly, get off social media.

It fucking sucks.

But yeah, no, just those.

Did you see that 10 people in France were convicted and like jailed under cyberbullying laws for transvestigating Bridget McCrone?

Yeah, France doesn't fuck around with online transvestigations.

Dear listener, my brain processes Candace Owens the way it does a skin rash that you tried to ignore for a while, hoping it would go away on its own.

After all, itchy, inflamed patches crop up all the time.

You're not going to go to the dermatologist every time one happens, especially not with these new insurance premiums.

Hey!

Okay, I'm just trying to cope.

I'm just trying to cope with my increased premiums that I just learned about.