Matt Kielty

it feels sort of desperate in a way.

And I think it's because for John, who grew up in this very strict Catholic family, whose Catholicism felt like this enormous sort of weight, this constraint, this thing that made him feel fundamentally flawed and broken and bad, like to shed all of that through these ideas of self-esteem was like so vital and important to his sense of self, to his sort of well-being.

I mean, do you feel like you were his good friend?

Do you feel like he, like, I don't know, like he was a person very committed to personal growth.

Do you feel like he ended up being the man he wanted to be?

She'd treat him the same way I bet she did when he was five.

And he'd come crumbling down?

His most common trigger would be to get angry.

Each of us get triggered in different ways, and his would, boy, he could erupt in no time.

How do you think he felt about how he was treating the people around him when he was angry like that?

Oh, really?

He was very concerned about what he was eating.

And if somebody brought a dish that was full of cream or something like that, he'd rage at the waiter or waitress.

You trying to kill me or something?

in the public eye all the time.

And Mitch told us about how another thing that John really struggled with throughout his life was just with relationships.

And Mitch said there was this point in their friendship where Mitch told him, like, look.

How about you become a member of our family?

And that was our contract.

Mitch says this was 2014, and it was when John was diagnosed with a really aggressive form of cancer.