Matthew Hussey

I'm sure there's many other flaws that I had, why those relationships didn't work.

But that was one thing that left me feeling frustrated, not only in intimacy, but also in friendships or business relationships where I was like, I'm gonna show up a certain way, and I have an expectation that other people show up a certain way.

Or if I'm gonna be generous in one way, I have an expectation that if I do something for someone else, that they would be just thoughtful in similar ways and be as generous.

And some people did that, but not everyone.

And so it left me feeling frustrated more times than not because I had an expectation.

As opposed to just communicating, okay, here's what I'm all about and here's what I value.

Here's my values, here's my standards.

Or not having any expectations at all

and being the generous person and not being resentful if there's not a standard met in return and being okay with that.

And so I've had to learn the hard way of making sure that I either don't have expectations in certain friendships, business relationships, intimacy, or communicate with hard conversations and see if someone can meet that standard.

Yes.

Yeah.

In your book, Love Life, how to raise your standards, find your person and live happily no matter what you talk about.

There's a quote from your book that said, I made a big miscalculation.

I underestimated people's ability to make poor choices in their love life, even when they had an abundance of choice.

How, when we have an abundance of choice, of opportunities, maybe great men in front of us, or great women in front of us, and we're going on lots of dates, and we're like, wow, there's so many inspiring people.

Where most people are struggling to find one person that they're interested in, but now you have an opportunity with lots of people.

How do we choose properly when you have an abundance of choices with the potential partners?

How do you know the person you're going to choose for the next 20, 30, 50 years potentially is the one for you?

So many people have gotten married by saying, oh, but my family loves this person.