Matthew Muehling
👤 Speaker
245
total appearances
Appearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
I feel like I am the crackhead version of Ari Matsi in this jacket.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
I've been practicing my jokes in front of my cats.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
They're tough critics.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
If they don't like one, they'll cough up a hairball.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
I jerk off with my left hand and I write with my right hand.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
Sometimes I jerk off with my right hand and it feels like somebody else is doing it.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
Give my mom some credit.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
She had schizophrenia.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
She probably thought I was her pimp.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
Speaking of pimps, my name is Mr. G. I'm a ladies man.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
I'll prove it to you.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
I can take any woman here home with me tonight.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
I just need extra bus money.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
Austin is my home, but I've been gone for 14 years.
KILL TONY
#700 - WHITNEY CUMMINGS + KAM PATTERSON
No, I wasn't in prison.