Maura Schneider

speaker

77 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jul 2026 last heard 21 Jul

Maura Schneider’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.

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The Moth · Walking the Walk: The Moth Radio Hour · 21 Jul 2026 podcast

I once lived in a world where sex was only practice between two consenting Barbie dolls.

My best friend Emily and I spent so many unsupervised hours when we were seven in her basement kneeling in front of Barbie's dream house in carefully un-Velcro-ing blouses and pressing nipple-less boobs against chiseled chests and giggling.

And then when we were eight, the summer we were eight, we emerged from that dark basement and realized, we went to the pool and we realized that non-plastic living boys could also make us giggle.

We would whisper about the cutest ones and laugh when they belly flopped or tried to eat a whole hot dog in one bite.

And there was one boy who ruled them all.

This muscly blonde middle schooler named Scott.

When he was there, I felt like there was a magnet in my chest pulling me towards him.

And he was so beautiful.

It was like the world was brighter and better when he was there.

Emily liked him too, my best friend.

And so we would tread water next to him trying to get his attention.

And she was really bold.

So she'd say things like,

Looks like that modeling contract's going to come through, Scott.

Or tie my underwater handstand.

I was really shy.

I would try and talk, but I would just stare at him, hoping that that would evolve into a romantic relationship.

But instead, Scott, after a week of being these perpetual giggling shadows next to him, Scott got tired of it.

And he pushed us away from him in the pool and yelled, ugh, you guys are so annoying.

Just leave me alone.

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