Mel Robbins

And what we're going to go through is we're going to go through and read these excuses from listeners of this podcast, admitting why they cancel plans on friends, even though they complain they're lonely and they want more friendship in their life.

And let's talk about whether you're creating an excuse that is destroying your social health, or this is truly a need and it's important to hold the boundary.

But isn't that also an excuse?

Because do you not feel like you can be yourself because you constantly withdraw?

Are you not pushing your social muscles so you don't... Because I think you can get to a point where...

your, quote, social anxiety becomes a learned behavior because you're not forcing yourself to go out and learn how to feel like yourself.

Yes.

I'm glad you said that because I thought you were going to say this is a need.

Like it's one thing not to agree to go out to some fancy dinner that you can't afford.

Sure.

But don't let it become an excuse to not make different plans or to not say, hey, I just can't afford that, but I still want to see you.

Now, let me just make sure I am tracking because I think this is very important because when I went through the hundreds of pages of excuses and reasons why you are canceling plans and can't see friends, the biggest one was I'm tired.

And I get that too.

I mean, I just admitted that I'm already feeling tired thinking about leaving the house on Saturday to see people I love.

But what I want to make sure that we all took away from the research and what you just said is that unless you are in a state of medical burnout and you need to be sleeping and resting for your health, which is a need, you're saying that the thing that you're avoiding because you feel tired from work or burnt out from caregiving, that social connection is the exact answer.

like it's the exact medicine you need.

Exactly.

In order to lift yourself back up.

In fact, it's so counterintuitive.

Amazing.