Mel Robbins

Okay.

So if somebody's reason for not going out is, I feel anxious when I think about going to social situations, is that an excuse or a need?

So you...

The feeling of anxiety about putting yourself in a social situation is valid.

Absolutely.

But it's an excuse because based on what the medical experts say, you need to do the thing that you feel nervous about or else those anxious feelings get bigger and bigger and your life gets smaller and smaller.

Is that what you're finding in the research?

I agree.

What's profound as you keep hearing ting, ting, ting, is that the excuses are stacking up and reaching the top of the jar.

So what are some of the other excuses?

That is annoying.

I agree with you.

I totally agree.

It's an excuse, but you need new friends, right?

That's an excuse and a need.

It's an excuse that you're using not to go, but you need new friends.

Yes.

So what I'm noticing, and I don't know if you're picking up on this as you're listening or watching, is that the excuses are a lot about how you feel.

Every time you've said need...

It's typically been because you're recognizing that the people that you're about to go see are not really supportive and that that is triggering something deeper, which is the need is to recognize that you've got to put time and energy into building supportive relationships.