Melissa Ferrari
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Melissa Ferrari’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Sex and adult themes.
In my experience it would be no.
Mm-hmm.
Generally, no, because it creates too much in a relationship of insecurity.
Because people are in relationships looking to feel safe and secure.
And be able to grow together.
And things like alcohol and drugs, it doesn't help people show their real authentic self and that can make people feel very, very uneasy.
Now, some do stay together.
and live under the circumstances depending on how much they drink.
You know, if people can monitor it or or our or or drugs, if they can monitor it and do it in a cab compatible kind of way, well everything can work out fine.
It's when it becomes problematic that it really can cause big disconnection.
Well, addiction is when it starts to become out of hand, where you actually are are starting to not be able to connect with your partner in an authentic kind of way, where you are starting to be a lot more disorientated in the relationship, you're not being able to concentrate on the other person as well as yourself.
Often people with alcohol and drugs become into what we call like a one person system, which means they're really become very inward and are thinking a
People who can, you know, I can see over the years in therapy who will come in and they don't drink all week, but we only drink on the weekend.
And sometimes that can be the night when there's a fight.
It can be like a binge drinking, and so a couple does drink to that point where they're no longer functioning, you know, securely with each other and they start to have big arguments and things.
So binge drinking's not much better in a couple when it's becoming serious.
Yeah.
Yes, it has and it really depends on when you come into relationships it's important that you're really clear on your own values and what you want to get out of it.
If you're someone that's looking for a relationship with longevity and you want to be with someone for a really long time and they've got a drug or alcohol use that is affecting you and it's not being that two person system, what's good for me is good for you, well then that's when you do
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